Now that I’m calming down, my sis brought up a long forgotten incident to my attention… and I looked it up in my journal and it was in there too.
Last time I was out all night and day with no contact was about 7 years ago and I was having an episode in park across town. I went missing for a full day because I fell off the small cliff and ended up with a broken arm couldn’t climb back up. My family called me in as a missing person and the fire department had to climb down and get me.
She also mentioned last time also about 7 years ago when I went missing with no contact, I tried to leave this life. She trust’s me to be alone, she just panics when I’m out for a full day with no contact.
So, the anger is fading and now the guilt begins. I’m not going to let it eat me. I’m going to apologize to my sis and get the out the anger management manuals and start over. Now I feel stupid for freaking out in the first place.
I’ve been working so hard to try and prove to myself that I don’t need a baby sitter, that I’ve sort of been acting like a big baby. The dynamic duo will make it through.
I do owe an apology to the sis and I have to get my patience back. So much has been changing so quickly. I need to find my balance again.
It’s odd in a way, yesterday I tried to go surfing for a bit, and I couldn’t find the balance on my board either. It’s like everything is out of whack.
Hey bro,I was recently kicked out of my position as a badminton state player,but the coach still welcome me to train,I was kicked because I just feel not motivate enough to play it and was missing shots and react very slowed,I hope you can find your way back to you used to be,and I hope I can maintain my mental health,I really do believe you can because you are a kind,nice,relax person!
I bet you’ll get your health back up and get back in the position you once held. I guess we’re both just going through a slump. But just like a pendulum, it will all swing back into place right? Noting escapes change.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. I think that your reaction was natural and you’re a big person to be able to admit when you need apologize.
Think about it: you’ve fought tooth and nail to become a healthy and independent person. Doesn’t it make sense that you’d be upset when you’re in a position that makes you feel like a dependent?
I would have done the same thing you did. We all make mistakes, even the healthy act irrationally. It’s how we fix the mistakes that make us who we are.
I’m SO glad that you and kid sis were able to process through this. And your ability to recognize the need for an apology says a lot about your intelligence, wisdom, and progress.
I’d still seriously think about getting a cell phone though Just for your own personal safety. Maybe only give your number to kid sis, and mom and dad.
And I know everything might seem out of whack right now, but that’s because you’re GROWING! It takes time to test out your new legs. But I have faith in you, that you will find your groove and enjoy this newfound growth.
An apology sounds like a good idea. I think you both understand each others position on the cop incident. I think you can see her good intentions when she called the cops and her reasoning behind it. And I think she can see why it made you angry.I would apologize and put the incident behind you.
Cool…and there was a reason she was concerned then…
maybe that idea about the cell phone would work? that way you could call and say you were going to be out late.
Like as I mentioned in the other topic with my wife when she didn’t tell me she was going shopping I would get all nervous…when she did i was ok with it…and I too had reason because of the one night she went off the road into a ditch.
Good for you for having the insight and humility to face up when you were wrong.
And there is nothing wrong with having an eggy crate.
Besides eggy crates don’t go just one way. They try to make life easy for you and protect you. It’s your job to do the same for them.
she was worried about you, when i first gave up drinking my sister used to say things like are you drunk etc after a while i gained the trust back dont forget other have to deaL with our illness too.
Just for your own personal safety. Maybe only give your number to kid sis, and mom and dad.