I’ve been having two schizophrenic friends for a long time. I met both of them at the hospital separately. But recently I have a hard time getting along with them.
The biggest reason is that our conditions were similar to each other when we met but now I’m almost symptom-free while both of them are still struggling with voices or delusions. One of them is getting worse each year and she now cannot even walk due to psychological reasons, so she uses a wheel chair. The other cannot go out either. They call me often, but I’m busy so I often cannot answer their calls. I sometimes call back but honestly, I don’t want to talk to them because if I talk about myself, they envy, and if I listen, I feel down because all they talk about is their symptoms and how hard their lives are.
This weekend while I was going out with one other friend I recently met(and I’m far happier being with her), one of the friends left a message to my phone that said “can you go out with me today? I want to make a good memory cos I’m going to kill myself soon.” I signed. Then I also noticed an email from her. It said “you don’t answer my calls, you are the worst piece of ■■■■, go to hell.” And this disgusted me.
The other friend calls me about once a week, but all she talks about is the voices she hears. Recently I don’t answer her calls either.
I understand how hard life can be with schizophrenia because I’ve gone through all the hell as well, but I’ve made a tremendous effort to get out of that hell and become better. They are just keep dumping on me and they haven’t gottne any better since we met. I don’t want to listen to them anymore. At least I don’t want be part of their lives anymore.
Am I selfish? Does any of you guys have similar experiences?