Not good ***SITRIGGER***

Am not good right now i self injured an hour ago and i cut my wrists
av dealt with it nothing major because i am a pussy who cant even cut deep
the demons got to me saying things about my family and about me
i lost it
Want to do more i called a crisis line but it didnt help
just want to keep cutting until there nothing left
my husband now has my tools and he not giving them back to me
i dont know if this is against the rules to post this sorry if i broke any rules

The angels still want me to fly …there is a open window up stairs from where i am
maybe i should just try it but i cant cause the door is locked as my husband will not let me out

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I think maybe you need to go in for treatment and get put on med’s. Your husband needs you to be a whole person. Do you have, or want to have, kids? They need a mother who is okay. Get help.

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i’m sorry you feel this way ella, i really hope you feel better soon and i just wish there was some other way you could find a release, cutting is bad and it doesn’t solve anything, i wish you could just use a punching bag or something instead, i did that and it really helped even better with music on, it is a bit like hurting yourself because you get pains in your arms and all over but its fun at the same time, anyway i hope i am helping and get well soon :slight_smile:

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ella hunni you tried to fly the other day and you fell flat on your face remember? you cannot fly. i’m thinking a short stay in hospital might help. maybe get your husband to get you in there?

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No i dont have kids but my 11 and 13 year old nieces are due to come up on Friday
we cant get out of it either my mother is the guardian of my nieces and she dont know i self injure
she would throw a fit if we cancel and there well behaved and i will be covered up by a hoodie and gloves

i see my psych on the 19th
i need to express myself some way but i dont know what i could hit some pillows

this may sound strange just now but i think that is an excellent idea, you need to find another way of releasing all of this and i think there are other ways to cause your self harm that could actually help you (sounds weird right) but think about it, you could channel this in other more imaginative ways and it could actually be fun and keep you fit at the same time. i would ask your doc if he thinks that this might be helpful and he can advise you the best way to do go about that ‘without overdoing it if you know what i mean’ lol

you need help.
go and see your shrink/therapist…now.
your husband is trying to help you.
the voices are ■■■■■■■■…i know i have been doing this long enough.
your angels don’t want you to literally fly…they want you to meditate and fly in your mind…
look after yourself.
know some one cares.
take care

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Oh no - please dont cut and injure yourself - please get the help you need! You may have to go to the hospital for a short while to adjust your meds? This post is a bit triggering, because it reminds me of my past cutting years ago!
It saddens me to see you this way - please get some help soon!
If you need to talk, you can PM me anytime

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You need to call 911 and get hospitalized. You can get help there and not suffer anymore.

Sorry i haven’t replied until now
thing are a little crazy here
my husbands car isnt working right so we have to take it to the mechanics then we have to go on the bus and get my nieces from my mums have to pretend that everything is ok
I know i need help but family comes first
I have to managed until the 19th when i see my psych
i know i need to think of myself but i cant right now
my mum thinks my mental health is something i can just shake off
its not but she believes that am not ill even though it says i am on my medical notes
she would never understand
so time to play the every things fine game until the 19th

sorry for triggering you wave

No its ok, I just hope that you feel better soon - don’t hesitate to get the help that you need

Sorry I am late reading this. How are you feeling now? What are you doing to distract yourself from those feelings?

very scared demons saying things i cant post here because its too triggering and upsetting
my nieces are here there in bed tomorrow my sister is coming round to see the girls
am not going to tell her about my mental health not that she would care she too busy worrying about herself

Am going to start doing some art tomorrow or once the girls have gone home
there is an art group on a Monday at a drop in i sometimes go to
my nieces are only staying until Sunday
i have to act like am fine

Hi Ella~
Glad your husband is there with you!
Please call your doctor as soon as your nieces are gone!
Maybe your husband can take you to the ER and you can stay a few days until you are better?
You said family comes first—well you are part of that family and it sounds like your needs are a priority right now.
Please take care OO

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Sorry av not replied until now
was out today with my nieces saw my sister she after money all the time am so sick of her asking us for money
i tried to tell her about the angels but she just blanked me so sod her
my mother is the same they dont give a dam
my husband says he is worried about me
but i have to fly
i have a plan
but am keeping it to myself

Well, you’re not exactly keeping it to yourself. Writing like this puts a burden on other members of the forum. People don’t like reading about others threatening to jump out windows and such. Seek professional help.

sorry i wouldn’t post about that again

nice one mal…now she has nobody to talk to. ella talk as much as you want. ignore malvok. we are all here for you. talk about whatever you want and i and i’m sure other members of this forum will support you. bottom line is ella, you cannot fly. you do not have wings, you are not a bird so cannot fly. try this. stand on the floor and try and fly over your bed and see what happens. it’s a safe way of testing your theory. if you fail, which you will you’ll just flop onto your bed right? try that. that will prove it one way or another.

Talking about suicide and plans is not appropriate. This isn’t a crisis line. When people read about these things they feel responsible, like they have to help fix the person. People get worked up. It isn’t good for anyone.

Talking about problems or feelings is ok but threats and plans aren’t. I don’t know why you’d want to encourage these things.