Schizophrenia.com

*Trigger warning*


#1

Hi friends,
I am Sam, Sam I am, and I have made a mess out of myself slicing into me, everywhere. I can’t stop thinking about cutting, I can’t hold a conversation with my housemate for days now, I think, cut cut cut, how great! And then I indulge and have a cutting spree and feel so much better. But now I need it so frequently, I need to do it now. I go to the forest and cut, wait for my housemate to go to sleep, what a time! I need an opinion though. I have an appointment with a doctor on Thursday, but I cancelled it. Should I try to ask for it back? If I go, should I tell him I hurt myself? Will he want to hospitalize me? Because I really don’t want that, I really want to keep hurting myself, the voices don’t even have to tell me to do it anymore, it’s just a need now. A need right now, growing growing, it has to stop. I don’t want it to, liking it. Thank you for reading, friends.


#2

Wow man I am so sorry. There certainly has to be something that can be done. You should stop hurting yourself. Seek professional help. Schedule another appointment. Christ sake go the hospital man. You admit you have a problem right?


#3

Hello, thank you for talking, you’re right, I will not self harm, I will not indulge. No need for hospital. Thank you for your comment about scheduling an appointment, I will call on Tuesday. Just needed to know if you would do the same. So manic, so much energy and bad thoughts, is a problem indeed. So much beautiful skin to slash, feeling okay, hope you are too BryanAshley, take care!


#4

you need to get professional help…make an appointment and KEEP it…tell whoever you see everything that has happened…hoping the best for you


#5

Thanks for the help, I will keep this one for sure, and will remember kind words from bubbles. Hope all the best for you as well! Strong urges now, keeping busy talking here. Good, good. Thanks!


#6

Dear YakDip,

Please take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. It’s hard to put the blade down sometimes. But getting help is the only way to keep this habit from consuming you. There are so many better ways to deal with the pain and get the rush then this.

Like any habit, it begins to consume. I do hope you talk to someone so you don’t hurt yourself. You seem like a good person who deserves happiness from within.

I do hope you go to your doc and get some help with this. It’s not a bad thing to get help with this. We all need a little help now and then. Your not the only one who has used this method to try an over come internal pain. But as you know, it just gets worse. I needed some help getting better. Others needed help getting better.

You’re not alone. I’m glad your reaching out to other people. I hope you find a way to over come this very soon. I wish the best for you.


#7

Graceful thoughts to send out, thank you very much Kidsister, it means a lot. It’s such a great thing you got help and are now helping others! Kudos! I’m sorry to say I have just cut, but have put the razor away in the desk. Needing more, but will try to think of alternative outlets like you said. Trying not to reach for the drawer… it’s certainly calling. Take care, and stay safe, always!


#8

You should come clean and tell your doctor, go to a hospital before you turn into a psychopath like so many people do who never get better, never amount to anything, never realize their self worth or their own mistakes. It’s reality time.

I mean this in a good way. Take care of yourself and don’t make the mistakes people make in thinking life’s not fixable.


#9

Thanks for the talkies StarryNight, your advice is very much noted. However as I try, the hospital just seems so repulsive. Yes, keeping safe though. No way to cut at the hospital. I will tell my doctor about all this, I’ll show him too, because he’s going to ask to see, always does. Thank you very much, may you have a good time where you are!


#10

I used to have a problem with cutting. Now I have scars all over and am embarrassed. I would definitely tell your doctor and show him. He may hospitalize you but it’s for your good it will keep you safe and teach you other coping skills, ways to get what you’re looking for through other avenues. Trust me you’re going to regret the scars someday. There’s other dangers like going too deep or infection. If you feel like you’re going to do it again go to the ER and tell them you can’t stop. If you can’t protect yourself you need someone else to. Some hospitals are nice. It’s like a mini vacation.

You can also have a self care box. Keep red food dye and use that on your arms or a red marker. Also write what you like most about yourself and keep it in the box. Put in anything that comforts you like pictures or a stuffed animal.

Good luck to you.


#11

thought i would say hi.
i agree with everybody else, go and get some help.
know that some one cares.
take care


#12

Shucks, thank you for the advice! I am sorry you have cut before in your life, it sure can be addicting. I have scars too and I don’t like it when people see them, but I love them a lot. I’m glad you stopped cutting, good idea with the self care box! I think I will put my favorite rocks and crystals in there along with some paintbrushes and long letters from overseas friends! Yes, cutting too deep and infection, bad, bad. You could cut a tendon, or get nerve damage. I will think about going to the ER, but after I see if I feel better, just a little one. Yes hospital is a vacation away from everything. Maybe a rubber band on the wrist will suffice for now. Neat idea on the red food coloring, will have to get some. Well, thank you for your time SunGirl, may you have many happy days!


#13

Why hello there Darksith! Thank you for your opinion on these matters, it seems like I should get some help, just reading these responses. Thank you for your input, may your day be filled with many happy squiggles! Take care yourself as well!


#14

I didn’t read every answer. But you need help! Cutting is bad. Not cutting is good. If your mind tells you that you need to cut than your mind is messed up. It’s not your fault. It’s just a weird syndrome or something like bulimia or anorexia or OCD that makes people do what your doing. It is not good. I just hope you go after every avenue of help that’s out there to change your behaviour. I don’t know the treatment for people who cut but it doesn’t take an expert to know that slicing your body is not good for you and can be dangerous, even fatal.


#15

Hi,

Just thought I’d say you’re not alone, I was a cutter but still get the ideas and cravings of doing so, I did so last a year ago, I’ve self harmed since, just not cutting but because cutting does less damage in my case anything that reduces damage is a bonus, I’m not like I used to be though.

I’m sorry you’re going through this but I understand where you are, cutting or any form of self harm can become addictive particularly if you link it with a release etc do you know why you do it? What do you get out of it? If you think through these, you will be able to narrow it down and discover new ways to cope with what triggers it off. Like with me it’s punishment or pain to satisfy voices so I’ll hold an ice cube tight or rub it in places I’d normally cut, also when I used to be like you I’d have a rubber band around my wrist and twang it. That worked until I could identify why I did it and could write all the ways I could handle it differently and that helped me stop.

I think you should tell your doctor, to be honest I don’t know where you are but where I am if you’re open about self harming, hospital can be less likely but I know in America is varies. I think if you are honest and admit what you are going through then that would be in your favour. If it is life threatening then you need hospital or intensive therapy to reduce risk.

But t be honest, you need to get out of this cycle, you should tell him, he would probably appreciate you telling him before the risk went any further, he can probably give you tips and work through things with you. Give those questions I asked (why you do it etc) a thought and maybe tell him the answers and he can recommend the next steps on how you can stop or at least help reduce frequency.

Take care and if you have any other questions, ask away!
Go steady and try to be safe.
Meg.