Last night's chaos (more triggers)

So, Aaron arrived home last night to find I had cut myself a good bit, nothing serious, just scratches. He cuddled me, made sure I took my medication and tucked me into bed. I am obviously very delusional about him, and I try not to be, but…

I want to thank everyone who stayed up and spoke with me last night. It meant the world to me, and I do, quite literally mean that. I am entirely certain I would be up to my ears in trouble if not for you guys. I am “better” this morning. I am going to call my pdoc, and make an action plan just in case this happens again. I am so sorry I frightened everyone.

@jukebox hug

@Dreamscape hug

@mussel hug

@77nick77 hug

@BarbieBF hug

@bubbles hug

@e_lunaseer hug

@anon31257746 hug

@velociraptor hug

Update: I called the pdoc and left a message with the nurse. Told her about the cutting and suicidal thoughts.

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@jaynebeal hug

@sohare1981 hug

@wolfman hug

@mrhappy hug

@drewleo34 hug

@Qutaiba hug

@anon40540444 hugs

@Mussel, @mrhappy, @77nick77, @jukebox

I am not sure where I would be without you.
more hugs kisses

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Have I mentioned the butterfly project to you on the cutting for future reference the rules are…

  1. when you feel like you want to cut, take a marker or pen and draw a butterfly wherever the self-harm occurs.
  2. name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better.
  3. NO scrubbing the butterfly off.
  4. if you cut before the butterfly is gone, it dies. if you don’t cut, it lives.
  5. another person may draw them on you. these butterflies are extra special. take good care of them.
  6. even if you don’t cut, feel free to draw a butterfly anyways, to show your support.

It’s a huge internet movement so lots of support on the net for it. Hope it helps.

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I will definitely be using that.

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Good on you…

I wish I could be there too for having a sweet and free hug from you :slight_smile:

Anyway, I am glad that you found your help and you are safe now.

Samples, may I say you something… Please don’t miss your medicine. Stay blessed and keep posting!

@p2r hugs

I won’t, and I hadn’t missed it! Last night was just… Off I don’t know, pdoc today.

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Thanks for that :slight_smile:

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http://www.recoveryourlife.com/index.php?categoryid=148

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I’m just now reading the forum this morning. I wish I was around last night to help. Glad to hear you are feeling better today. It was very brave of you to call the pdoc and tell him how you are feeling.

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You’re welcome but I wish you hadn’t cut yourself. I hope next time (if there is a next time. Hopefully there won’t be) we can help you to not cut yourself somehow. Scars are not good.

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You’re very welcome, @samples32.

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very glad to see you’re okay Samples. An action plan sounds like a good thing.

Hang in there please,

mussel.

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glad to help any way I can @samples32

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I’m glad you’re doing better tonight @samples32, I wish I could have been more help,

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I’m glad you got through it without hurting yourself too bad. I didn’t post, because I believe in inflicting pain on myself to stop the voices. I understand when certain opinions are not needed. I probably don’t have the best opinion on this. I don’t believe I should inflict serious harm like cutting, but I’d rather walk away with a few scratches and bruises instead of wrapping my car around the nearest tree.

It’s good that you’re making a contingency plan. I need to make one too.

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This is why I didn’t post too much @metime, I do have visions of hurting myself but I am not deep into the thought of doing so, I don’t want to inflict more pain on myself. I don’t want to be to critical in this situation because I know how vulnerable a person can get. One thing that I usually try to force myself to agree not to do anything to myself while I’m manic. I try and convince myself that it is only temporary and the feeling/voices will pass. I know this doesn’t work on everyone but it is one way I’ve learned to cope with my strong emotions.I’m having a hard time fighting them off tonight.

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I could not get onto this site yesterday due to a connection problem, so I was not there. I am very sorry you have gone through such a chaos and am glad you feel better today.

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I am glad you feel better, I know how it feels to want to cut, and its not worth it. Hope you get back on your feet soon!

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I’m sorry you’re having a hard time tonight. It is a good mantra to have, “this too shall pass.”

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