So, Aaron arrived home last night to find I had cut myself a good bit, nothing serious, just scratches. He cuddled me, made sure I took my medication and tucked me into bed. I am obviously very delusional about him, and I try not to be, but…
I want to thank everyone who stayed up and spoke with me last night. It meant the world to me, and I do, quite literally mean that. I am entirely certain I would be up to my ears in trouble if not for you guys. I am “better” this morning. I am going to call my pdoc, and make an action plan just in case this happens again. I am so sorry I frightened everyone.
I’m just now reading the forum this morning. I wish I was around last night to help. Glad to hear you are feeling better today. It was very brave of you to call the pdoc and tell him how you are feeling.
You’re welcome but I wish you hadn’t cut yourself. I hope next time (if there is a next time. Hopefully there won’t be) we can help you to not cut yourself somehow. Scars are not good.
I’m glad you got through it without hurting yourself too bad. I didn’t post, because I believe in inflicting pain on myself to stop the voices. I understand when certain opinions are not needed. I probably don’t have the best opinion on this. I don’t believe I should inflict serious harm like cutting, but I’d rather walk away with a few scratches and bruises instead of wrapping my car around the nearest tree.
It’s good that you’re making a contingency plan. I need to make one too.
This is why I didn’t post too much @metime, I do have visions of hurting myself but I am not deep into the thought of doing so, I don’t want to inflict more pain on myself. I don’t want to be to critical in this situation because I know how vulnerable a person can get. One thing that I usually try to force myself to agree not to do anything to myself while I’m manic. I try and convince myself that it is only temporary and the feeling/voices will pass. I know this doesn’t work on everyone but it is one way I’ve learned to cope with my strong emotions.I’m having a hard time fighting them off tonight.
I could not get onto this site yesterday due to a connection problem, so I was not there. I am very sorry you have gone through such a chaos and am glad you feel better today.