i don’t feel like i could find a place in society with how schizoaffective disorder’s affected my life. i have enough trouble online, i’ve done okay in settings IRL regarding jobs socially but nothing blossomed beyond that. i’m stuck.
i think i just need to hermit and make the most of it, i don’t know what my options are. even online this is like one of like few places i go to regarding solidarity from talking to other people who also get having schizophrenia, compared to the many i’m in generally where nobody understands what i go through cause i’m the only schizospec person in the room. i’m only 24 but i get by better with people like 10 years older than me than i do people in my own age bracket. the former’s fine but the latter just. goddamn
i truly am just lost. i’m schizoidal enough, oughta lean into it more. i guess. i have no other options.
I go to a clubhouse to get with other crazy people. Sometimes it makes me realize that, compared to some other sick people, i really have my shite together. I mean, i don’t have a job or a lot of friends, but i have SOME friends, and an apartment, and a car…i really am fortunate and sometimes it’s just nice to realize it.
Truth is my man, we don’t have a place in society till we make our own, that goes for normies too. You’re young, my advice would be find interests that you can enjoy and try to be employable - the second part is incredibly difficult with this illness.
Hey! I feel ya. In my case, I ended up developing two types of behaviour around people (idk if voluntarily or externally forced)
One, around my closest family, in which I’m sz and med reliant. I’m counting with one hand only the people in this group.
The other is a projection of how I would like to be seen. Around everyone else. I don’t show weakness. I work my ass off to appear as perfect and normal as possible.
For me it works, but I realize it’s not a perfect way of expressing yourself in society. No one, outside your closest family knows anything about you. Only a facade.
With time it has become easier to project what you want to project. Sometimes you forget that you are emotionally very sensitive, med reliant, that sometimes you deal with non wanted thoughts, etc.
Sorry you’re going through this. I have taken an anti-depressant for 30 years. Because I have gone through these thoughts and feelings and it’s a very bad experience. I have talked to somebody and it helped me. I take vitamin supplements, exercise very lightly, do my hobbies, I even dance to music by myself. Anything to keep me going. I also have the negative symptoms that very burdening and stop me from feeling life. I no longer have suicidal thoughts or feelings. I become angry and frustrated now instead of becoming suicidal. But I don’t have outbursts and am not violent. I wish you well with these symptoms. They should be top priority.
replies appreciated, i think i was really going through it last night, but
it was over people i wasn’t a good fit around anyway, who i think were getting tired of me for a plethora of reasons. i will say it’s not like i was 100% innocent here (i wasn’t tending to my schizophrenia symptoms and was playing up the aspects to it that people around me found funny/amusing) but ultimately those who got away from me i
like a friend of mine was talking to me about how those people were never gonna be around for my full journey into being a better person, so i shouldn’t really lose sleep over losing them. i think i Really agree with that, hah.
i’m better today, at least.
i just need to find out how to be less stir crazy.