I wake up clear headed most mornings and things just come to me. I understand the past, I see my little successes and my big successes. I understand my mistakes to a point. The down side maybe is that this happens too much and I have to pick and chose what I’m going to use in my life.
My life sucks often but my social interactions are made that much sweeter because of how hard the rest of my life is. Its amazing how a friendly face of people who like me can mean so much. I’ll never win a Nobel Peace prize or an Oscar but I have my moments when things just go smoothly just like they should. Will I hate these people tomorrow? It’s almost guaranteed. Do I like them right now? Yes. Hey, the guy from my old house was here visiting last night. Him and the often-drunken mean guy here were telling me cool they think I am. It made my night. All you have is today,make the most of it. Last night my fellow tenant knocked on my door and invited me to come downstairs to have pizza with him and this women. I reluctantly agreed but I had a good time!
Maybe my last month here will go good, but only if I start driving some of them crazy like they do to me. This naive boy from the suburbs and luxury and comfort and has the 10 hospitalizations is not doing too bad in the downtown house with the homeless wandering by all the time and the drunken college kids. I’m proud of myself. I faced the fear of living here and I overcame it. Maybe now they will let me alone and let me be the nice person I want to be and I am. But I wouldn’t bet on it.