Neverending cycle of discrimination (tw)

DX'd - Other
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I can’t go into much detail but I just can’t deal with people constantly hating me because of my school campus’ reputation. There is just so much hatred in this world and I can’t deal with it. I thought being abused was just a thing of my childhood but apparently the world had more ■■■■ to show.

When I got diagnosed with early onset psychosis, since then I’ve been:

  • Kicked out of school trip because I was considered a danger to others when I wasn’t violent
  • Got talked behind my back because I had schizophrenia by nurses and doctors (The nurses said “she’s schizophrenic and dangerous! stay away from her” when I could hear them from the other room)
  • Got rejected by friends because I have psychosis
  • Kicked out of classes when I had 80% or above (thankfully they reinstated this shortly after)

I’m losing faith in humanity and people because I know that I’ll never be loved. I go to a terrible school, I have a terrible mental health condition, I am physically disabled, and no matter how hard I try I’ll just be seen as a feeble disabled person who can’t do anything.

I’m extremely suicidal.

I know that people won’t like me anymore and I’ll just be considered a lowlife because I have psychosis and a disability and I go to a terrible campus.

I’m done with people and this world. I’m done.

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It’s a shame.

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Can you go on disability and live a peaceful life?

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That’s terrible!
I’ve only really gotten it on the job.
You don’t have to defend yourself,
it might get worse.
I don’t have advice.
just don’t die.
you’'ll be missed.

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I’m just turning on peaceful music to circumvent my emotions right now.

Feels like the world is ■■■■.

I’m hating myself. Being born was a mistake.

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do you see a therapist?

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No…I’m broke and I don’t want to ask my mother

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ok. what about a crisis line?
I’ve gotten good and bad on those.

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Already called 1515

I’m honestly losing faith in myself and faith in humanity. I’m done.

I wish I was never born

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I know.
it fu-ck-ing sucks a lot of time.
but I wouldn’t give up if I were you.
life has good things too.

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I guess I don’t want to give up right now, but I would have k***ed myself if I didn’t have family.

My friends from Canada have all abandoned me and they rarely talk to me now, and I have no friends here anyway.

No one really cares if I disappear or not

Probably the other campus doesn’t give a ■■■■ anyway- they’ll be glad I was killed

Can’t focus on anything, can’t study. All I can think about is how much people will hate me for

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this may or may not help,
but Fleet Foxes are hilarious
if you can find them on You Tube.

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correction I think it’s Concord of the Fleet,
or something like that,
sorry bout that.

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I know what you mean. People are really horrible and just want to discriminate against innocent people. It’s been very difficult for me to live when people knew of my diagnosis. There are evil bigots who think you need to have physical problems, if you have any mental distress. If you protect yourself from these liars who do evil things, they lie about you.

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This may not be related or not but I just found videos of foxes laughing and it’s the funniest thing ever.

Thank you for your suggestion.

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I’m just done with people right now. Also my mom really hates the idea of me being disabled and she constantly keeps telling me that I’m “a normal person with physical problems” and this really bothers me. So me being disabled is bad? I just don’t know what to think anymore.

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My mom just told me: “Well then you should’ve studied again and transferred to a better school.”

Does she just lack empathy?

I don’t even know what to say.

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yeah, that’s a hard call, a better school.
if they’re smarter, doesn’t mean they won’t do it.

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Your mother isn’t being helpful. I think normal people are more distressed by an abnormal environment. I sometimes wish I would have taken something easier in school, so that I could find something easier to do. I would have made a lot more money too.

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