A TV show broadcasted a mother in psychosis walking naked with her children and my mom was like “Why are there so many weird people out there?” without thinking that I was kinda like that too when I wasn’t mentally well.
I feel so ashamed of myself for having this disease. I’m ashamed because I have a physical disability that no one wants. I feel disgusted with myself and my life.
I’m just a burden on my family and my brother, and my brother isn’t really happy with me anyway. I should be dead by now but I guess I’m living because I’m ■■■■■■■ useless and God doesn’t want to deal with my useless c*ap.
If I talk about this to other people, no one would understand and they would all leave me. This is why I’m not planning to make any friends because there’s no way that someone would choose to be friends with me. Honestly I’m so fed up with myself and with my disgusting face, and I’m so ■■■■■■■ disgusted because I am a piece of ■■■■. Nothing makes me more angry than thinking about myself. I guess I deserve to live in a hellhole of constant pain, stiffness and all kinds of suffering because I’m a piece of ■■■■ that doesn’t deserve any love and compassion. I hope I finally understand that I don’t deserve to be loved or be appreciated.
There’s no way that I will ever feel good about myself cause there’s no way that I could be beautiful, or whatever people tell me that I am. 'Cause all of that is just ■■■■■■■■ and it’s just false. There’s no way that I could be any of those things. I am a ■■■■■■■ ■■■■■■■ and a piece of ■■■■.