I hate myself for having psychosis. No one loves me because of it and people want to run away or think I am a murderer. I’m just a burden on society and my family. My mom says that if I am not sick my family has nothing to worry about. I’m the culprit and the cause of all problems in my household. I’m the cancer of this society because I have psychosis and everyone wants me dead. No one would like me if they find out I have psychosis. I hate myself so much and I hope she realizes how stupid and unloved she is.
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i dont like labels, i’ve been trying to refer to this illness on other terms, i mostly just say mental health problems but i think the term issues is nice, to say someone has issues or serious issues, still its ok saying that but what can we do about it?
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Agreed its tough being mentally ill. The extra stigma in your country doesnt help things
But I believe you can pull through this. Youve been through a lot yes but Youve made it this far
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Been there done that and written a book. Yeah I know what it feels like. I feel like that too. I dont think you are a burden. People who are like me dont make me feel so alone. How about talking to more people on here
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I am so sorry you are suffering…try and talk sense to your mom and tell her how bad you feel…also tell your pdoc you don’t have to have psychosis…meds can help…
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I feel like if I die it will make my family feel so much better because they will have one less thing to worry about. They keep saying I am the only thing that they worry about and suffer for. I have no right to make other people suffer.
Also people hate me anyway. No one will love me anymore.
I don’t want to talk to my mom because she says she has too many things on her plate, and although she wants me to open up, she keeps saying things lije “oh now I have to worry about another thing now”. This happened last time and I remember feeling like a huge burden and I stopped talking to her after that.
Idk. I’m just sure that no one will like me because of my psychosis. I’m undesirable and disgusting.
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I too used to feel like you feel right now about yourself…you are desirable…you just need to get the right meds so you can either lose weight or gain stability…whatever you want you can get…it is attainable…don’t give up…please don’t think of yourself so cruelly.
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Your parents obviously love you but I dont think they treat you with respect. That isnt a way to talk to someone and they have no right saying those things
@anon10648258 because they worry about you it shows that they love you very much. If they didn’t worry it wouldn’t be natural. Relax a little. Be yourself and those that are worth it will be attracted to you. This sickness is huge and all encompassing. With the right balance of meds and support you’ll get through these dark days. I promise.
Death brings great sadness. It’s all so final and horrid. I imagine losing one of my daughters and I’d be destroyed. No matter their behavior or sickness a parents love to their children is unconditional.
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Don’t put too much weight on your shoulders. Having the illness is already hard. Don’t blame yourself for having it. I’m sure your family likes you.
I wish I had magic words that could help you see you are valuable. You shouldn’t have to suffer like that. Do you see a pdoc?
I do. She does nothing.
I want to cut my graduation into pieces and burn it in the fire, or throw rocks at my pictures. I want to smash my mirror because I have to look at my disgusting face. All I want is to stop people from hating me and stop my family from feeling like ■■■■ because I know that their only problem is me. If I end my life they won’t have to deal with my ■■■■■■■ life.
It sounds like something brought on these recent negative feelings. I bet you don’t always feel like this. Try to practice gratitude for one or two things you have in your life. I’m sure there is something.
Best wishes.
I’ve been like this for a long time.
And I’m constantly reminded of how worthless and disgusting I am.
You need to practice self love.
Try this: Just sit on a comfortable chair and think “May I be well, may I be happy”.
Send yourself some good energy. Being too hard on yourself won’t help the situation.
This is serious gaslighting.
“I want you to open up emotionally, but not any negative feelings”. Not how human beings work.
I feel similar to you in that I am just a waste of money to feed and house when I cant give anything back
But you are different. You are doing things with your life. You are just javing difficulties with your immediate family.
Are there any clubs you can attend at uni to meet people with similar interests to you? That might help.
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no one is worthless.
we all r god’s children and our parents love us no matter what.
take care
god bless
@anon10648258 , your thought processes are unhealthy.
Your life has immense value.
Your family complains about you, but they let you live with them so it’s already a good thing.
What I would recommend you, is to quit trying to do a career, just chill, and try to make progress step-by-step. Your top priority at this stage should be to arrange your thoughts, so that you start loving yourself and accepting yourself the way you are.
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