this demon is really bothering me. she’s saying she’s going to take over everything and turn all against me. she outargues me all the time and I feel so pathetic for it. says the most hurtful things to me. I will never meet those standards. she says she can rule over everything and make me miserable forever and I guess anything’s possible. claims to be in the intelligence agencies as well. I had do leave my old apartment because of her and was put in a hotel by my dad, who like at least a third of my family has I believe been cloned and replaced by someone who really hates me.
its pathetic what’s going on in my life. I believe I will always be at war and possibly losing beyond my ass. ive tried my best to stand up for myself but have failed in pretty much every imaginable way. either last week or the week before, I checked myself into the psych ward for just under a day. that was my 25th hospitalization. I feel so lost as to who I am and what to do. I’m in hell as we speak.
god, I have so many demons after me. ive thought about death so much and I’m under 30 so I shouldn’t really be thinking about that now. I have lost my faith in god and jesus and I don’t know if they can or will help me. this demon, the main one is relentless. said she’s argue with me and jesus forever. I don’t know if there’s much hope for the good people and it sucks. world’s getting more and more evil by the day as they gain power.
good people and other benevolent beings are being phased out of the picture and I can’t stand to see what’s happening to us. even if I die young, which I think may well happen, I don’t think I will go to a better place because of the influence these things seem to have. they claimed to have influenced god to cancel my salvation among other things. its just a miserable life I lead.
It’s the nature of being human to never be good enough for yourself. At times in your life, you’ll be good enough for others, but you’ll eventually disappoint them. That’s part of being human too.