It happened online. The demon (real or figurative I don’t know) taunted me, not for the first time, with wild accusations about my moral character and my motivations on this forum. He appeared to be privy to all my activities on here, and even suggested that everyone, my doctors, my friends, ex and family, all of them, were wrong about me and that only he knew what “I’m really all about”. He provided no evidence or convincing arguments, but there, he implied, lied his strength, the brute force of his undivinely inspired Dullness. He claimed to be the most honest “human being” currently online, but where he claimed honesty I only saw petulant BS. Without no one really asking him he tells me often how little he likes me, and even explains why, just like a 10 year old might do. He chases me everywhere, biding his time and casting moral judgements as simplistic and malicious as they are final and infallible. Today he called me a liar, questioned the sincerity of my pleas for help on the forum, and mocked my existential pain. He urged me to kill myself, which I won’t do for the sake of my loved ones and because I’m probably already dead. The demon’s name is Nameless. The Child is the Father.
What can you do to improve things?
oh no i hope it’s not me
2. Not kill myself
I don’t know which one. What I do know is that the last time I felt this way I ended up spending 6 months in hospital
Of course not. I need everyone, at least everyone human, to feel happy. Animals too.
Suicidal thoughts are a bad sign. What do you think is the source of your problems? Would you be willing to consider that your brain isn’t working properly and these are delusions?
Maybe that’s exactly what you need. Seriously, you need some meds.
Actually I was enjoying a break from my usual ‘delusions’ but got triggered by this demon.
I feel like I was cloned or ‘died’ spiritually, mentally and physically back in 2011 around June-August while in college. Not sure what happened. Could have been MiLabed or alien abduction but it really ■■■■■■ me up for eternity. Some people call them the Illuminati/DeepState/ShadowGovernment. I keep rebooting back to that time or reincarnating or whatever you call it. It’s different than your story. I’m really struggling. Nobody believes me.
It’s like a causal loop, time loop, time travel, and consciousness transfer all in all. I feel like I was tortured or something I feel like. They got names for the programs but I cannot get help or support or money.
Who knows. I could have stepped on a peanut and they could have blamed me for that. I have been searching my mind constantly on the cause or the root cause for all my problems. Can’t seem to figure it out.
Was it random? Was it genetics? Was it a jealous or bitter girl? Was it something else? I don’t know. I have no clue.
I remember the exact moment of my birth, or death, I’m not sure which one. The desert is full of demons at the moment.
I hope you find some reprieve. For me psychosis was pretty painful most of the time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
The demon is now saying that my mental anguish is proof that his judgements are true. Suggesting that the truth hurts more than lies is not only an idiotic cliche, it’s also morally wicked.
Bad people want me to appear crazy and become a med zombie for the rest of my life.
what makes you listen to the ‘demon’, why give it any power? it words mean nothing. You are the one that gives it meaning.
I’m not sure I agree with that. The truth is often more painful than lies, that’s why people lie in the first place.
You have to decide if you want to be a zombie or in pain and psychosis. There’s lots of meds that won’t make you a zombie, but you have to go through the pain of finding the right one.
Now the demon is saying that they are going to lock this thread and find an excuse to suspend me
If you stay on the positive and try to look for solutions, your thread won’t get locked.
I have no power, never did.
How is the demon talking to you?
i dont mean in the physical sense of power. I mean , when you give importance and take notice of something, then your giving it meaning. it become more real. The less you pay attention to it the less real it becomes.
i dont believe in powers , i dont believe in magic, or anything like that.