OK, delusional problem. Tell me if this is possible. My neighbor downstairs is a bit of a problem. To me, right now, I thought of something that would be detrimental to her power over me. To ME, it seems she picked up on it and now is trying to make me think it’s not true. Through some power she is trying to make me think that I don’t know something that I really do know. I’m sorry, but I grow less and less impressed with my neighbors the longer I live here. I understand survival but not people who use any thing and anybody for their own means and ends by intimidation, using, playing on weaknesses, and being selfish, and causing trouble. It’s not just one incident that’s bugging me, it’s an accumulation of years. I know my problem sounds a little weird, but that’s why I’m running it past you guys to see if you know what I mean or if it’s possible. Thanks.
Is this the old lady who has given you problems in the past? I don’t know what she’s actually doing to you. Is she being loud or rude to you? Is there any way you can ignore her? I really do wish I could help, but what is she doing?
the least you have to do with your neighbours , especially the lady in question, the better, she sounds just like a nasty piece of work and she triggers you, i have had neighbours like this before aswell, it sucks.
part of the sz thing is that we find it hard to let go of the tiniest grievance and then these multiply untill we have a list as long as our arm, at least this is the case for me !
maybe if it is not too triggering write a list of the things that you feel she or other people have done, and work out which ones are worth letting go of, this just might shorten the list and make your life more peacefull.
take care
well to be honest, I dont really know exactly what your situation is but I have read too much about schizophrenics being the victims of everything from bullying to murder. So speak up and tell those ■■■■■■■ off. People don’t ■■■■ with me, I give off the “dont ■■■■ with me” vibe by being built, wearing skulls and crossbones and having a military hairstyle. Ever since I started dressing like that, people have been pretty damn polite and homeless/losers on the street dont even ■■■■ with me (rarely happens, happens to normal looking people constantly all of the time in memphis) and I just give them the finger or yell ■■■■ OFF.
Im also trained in street fighting (Krav Maga), I even know how to take a shotgun from someone (who walks around with a shotgun?) and blow the persons head off in less than 5 seconds. Pointing a handgun or pulling a knife on me is just a good way to get killed.
but I live in one of the most dangerous cities in the nation, and people outside of east memphis or the suburbs are all hostile to a middle class person, we dont consider them humans, they are the scum of the earth and will kill or rape you. Lots of people who live near campus or in midtown/downtown have concealed carry permits, I know plenty of people who do. I hate to sound harsh but every ■■■■■■■ day someone gets killed or raped or both in this shithole city. I live near the city limits and I spend some time around the university, thats where you get the losers on the street asking for help and thats when you give them the finger and go home.
My Krav Instructors talked about having to use Krav all of the time, they didnt live in the nice part of town like I do. The head instructor had been shot multiple times if I remember correctly.
She has me intimidated. She’s crazy (not diagnosable.You know what I mean) I can accept the fact that a 70 year old women can intimidate me. It’s just the methods that bother me. She is sensitive to my thoughts. Any trace of violence crosses my mind I get an immediate violent response from downstairs. Big crashes, huge thumps and bumps.She started this. I grew up getting along with older people fine. My mom was always telling me the adults at our church liked me because I was polite and respectful. And they just liked me. In fact I did yard work pretty steadily at 9 or 10 of our families friends on a regular basis when I was in high school. My step-dad told me not to mess with the older folk. They know exactly what they can get away with. And it would not
be fair to bother a senior But they take niceness as a weakness.But when they STEAL my experiences or play upon my weaknesses so I feel used and helpless, it bothers me. I like to think positive and I like to get along. But I think Darksith in this case sees the situation clear.
this is good advice for me as well. Thank you for the idea.
I get compliments from you guys about how I seem nice. And in fact, my friend years ago who knew me well told me that too. And I think it was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received from a friend. But there’s a limit to how nice I can be. You have to understand. When I was growing up, I did everything my friends did. We stole, we dealt drugs, we went looking for fights. And found them and got our asses kicked. We were not nice kids. When I was growing up the worst thing someone could call you was a pussy. I’ve never had anyone call me that.The worst I got was not until I was in my early thirties when I was unloading trucks for 4 years at Sears, among a bunch of 19-2 years olds. I got razzed often. It was back-breaking work but I was strong and could hold my own with ANYBODY there. But one day, this jerk I worked with tried to talk me into an extra 20 minute break to walk through the mall for a coke. I refused and he called me a wimp. First and last time anyone called me that. I didn’t care because I was a good worker and I had been clean for four years and I was perfectly happy with not getting in any trouble. Only laws I break now are traffic laws. but nothing serious. I’m not saying I’m a tough guy but I’ve had stuff happen to me. How crazy is this lady to bug me for three years in my own home? She does it because she knows I won’t do anything. Mortimer is spot on. These people are simply bullies and users. Even as I talk. They don’t deserve respect.
nick i hate to b the bearer of bad news but this sounds somewhat delusional. u say she responds to ur violent thoughts by crashing and banging around downstairs. how could she possibly know what ur thinking? could it b just a coincidence? maybe make a note of every time she bangs and crashes and it doesn’t seem in response to ur violent thoughts. maybe then u will c there is no relationship between the two? hope this helps xxx
Make a voodoo doll of her and poke it every time she bangs too loud.
Eye for an eye too. Every time she bangs loud you respond in kind. Don’t be afraid to match the loudness, and see if you can be exactly the same.
Whenever you run into he face to face (not literally!) just take a moment to adjust to poker face, then pause, and really look at her for a minute. I mean really look as if your seeing inside her head for a moment, then simply stare at her while letting a smile come to your face, as if you just got your power back from her. Then, quickly snap out of it and nod your head politely in her direction, then walk away with confidence.
If nothing else, this should bug the crap out of her for the rest of the night as to what you just “saw” inside her head.
Jayne, here’s how I would explain it. I have read a couple times that every thought brings on a physiological response.So she is not reading my mind, per se, she is hyper-sensitive to ANY sort of physiological kind of thoughts about violence.Whether it is directed towards her or not. She responds to any perceived threat in a millisecond. I have never been racist.That’s just not me. But I have a nagging little feeling that this may be a cultural gap as she is an older Chinese woman. I have always got along with other races. The majority of people here in my complex are asian. That’s not the problem I have with them. But again, I have an inkling that the older folk here are a little set in their ways and old fashioned and may have a problem with ME. I know they are a little suspicious of people not of their race. Maybe they got discriminated against in the past and are a little wary of trusting people. The only reason I just spent half a paragraph on race (when it shouldn’t matter or be a factor) is that like I said, they are the overwhelming majority here. I hope that I am clear when I say, I am not prejudice. But she has made it abundantly clear,many times over, that she does not want to get along and that she will play on any weakness at ANY hour of the day or night. OK, the overwhelmingly majority of people who I have told this problem too tell me she is doing nothing wrong. My step-dad and darksith are the only two who concur tat she may not be innocent. But I will go with the majority and once again, I will do my best to get along.
Csummersx, I might laugh at the voodoo thing some other time as I have been finding a little humor in things lately. Maybe tomorrow I will laugh. Returning her banging has almost got me evicted, so that option is out. But I find your third idea intriguing, maybe I’ll try it. Enough said, I will not post about this again for awhile.
Nick, I have known a handful of asian women, both young and old, and I would have to say superstition plays a very large part of their lives. This woman is probably scared to death of you because of your size-you did mention you could fill a door frame once or twice-am I right?
This a is probably her way of trying to push you away so you wont try to hurt her. She has no idea you wont hurt her. Haven’t you in fact responded as bad as she has to you because you didn’t know she was just trying to not look afraid?
The way to clear this up is to from now on respond with showing respect to her as an elder, this does not in any way mean for you to bow down or lose respect for yourself either.
Google the Chinese culture on elders and educate yourself on their culture.
You can start off by a small gesture of nodding to acknowledge her, then work up to saying hello in Chinese (I used to say phonetically “nee ha ma” to my neighbor,).
When she starts to understand your not trying to intimidate her, she will loosen the grip on trying to push you away. When she sees you are making an effort to try to communicate in her language and offer respect because she is older than you, you just might find she comes out of her shell and become your friend.
This takes time, it wont happen overnight or even in a month or so, but this is really just a cultural/communication problem rather than a personal attack, and the only thing to solve it is gaining her trust for her safety.
Try it,
You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.
Well, I’m wondering why her banging didn’t get HER evicted. Are you sure it is real. Maybe, call someone into your room and asking “Do you hear what I hear?”
Well, that would be the smart thing to do. And the neighborly and morally right thing to do.