I am new to the forum (just joined yesterday) and have never shared my beliefs with anyone other than the doctors before so I though I would do so. This will be a bit long so bear with me. I am on Latuda now and am stable but these are the beliefs I get whenever I get stressed: (Warning: this can be triggering)
People can read my mind. I have all my internet passwords saved in a program called 1Password which requires a single password and a physical key to open. I believe that people in my vicinity can read my mind and are accessing that password. I have to avoid thinking about the password because people can hear it when I think it. So I change the password to have some symbols that are hard to think about so that I don’t accidentally think about the password. When people are near me, I have to think about a nonsense phrase or some loud music passage so they can’t scoop the password from my thoughts.
The same goes for my address. I have to avoid thinking about my address because people are going to track my family down and slaughter them. So whenever people are near me, I think about something else random but invariably slip up and say my address in my head over and over again.
I am being set up. While I sleep, some of the other patients are going to steal my clothes and take my keys, find my car, unlock all the buildings I have access to, and perform horrible acts there and then I will get blamed. Every time someone in the ward gets blood drawn or their height or weight measured, I know that they are trying to find the right candidate to impersonate me and frame me. The reason they measure people’s height is because they need to find someone who looks like me. I have to hide my clothes so they can’t impersonate me.
Every name I think of will be someone who gets killed that night. Every time I think of a name, that person will die.
Someone broke into my house while I was sleeping in the hospital and has a thought-reading device that can track my thoughts from a distance. They have my child and are waiting for me to think “kill him”. If I don’t think this, I will go to Hell.
The newspapers are following my life and writing articles that refer to me. They mask it by putting other people’s names but it’s really about me.
Same goes for TV. The news is secretly letting everybody know about my life but they are pretending they are about other things so that they don’t get caught.
I am the antichrist referred to in Revelations in the Bible. I have begun a new era of horrible things in the world. All the birds that fell from the sky that time are because of me. I have committed the “unpardonable sin” by blaspheming the Holy Spirit. (when I have these thoughts, I start “blashpheming” the Holy Spirit in my head uncontrollably which is usually a swear followed by “Holy Spirit”)
People I know are all around me in other forms and with other faces. If someone vaguely reminds me of a person, it’s because they actually are that person, but with a slightly different face.
If I tell someone I love them, I will bring them to Hell when I die. I know I am going to Hell so I need to decide if I want to sacrifice family and friend to keep me company in Hell or if I want to go there alone. So when I say “I love you” to someone, I am taking them with me into Hell.
I need to confess all my sins by 15 minutes past the hour or I will go to Hell. This means that I need to call people and tell them everything I did to them before the clock hits quarter past. I actually called my boss because of this and confessed things but the problem was that I was confessing some delusions that weren’t true. I was fired from that job and banned from entering the place two days later.
I have Aids and when I touch someone, I give it to them.
Of course there are many more smaller symptoms, like cameras everywhere and symbols but I think this list is long enough! Thanks for reading.