Schizophrenia.com

My thoughts and delusional reality

That the universe began in 2011 and took 1 year to build, and I woke up in 2013. Ok seriously, that’s how it feels and my schizophrenia is. I have missing time up until my schizophrenia like 2012 was the end of the world and we now live in a different, newer reality like a computer simulation. I think these thoughts are and feelings and experiences are not random or new or that I’m the only one that has these feelings of non-existence. A lot of schizophrenics feel this way. I just try to capture these feelings and make sense of them.

Like I feel like our big bang or universe before 2012 is an illusion and that the universe began in 2012 allegedly and the CCC (conformal cyclic cosmology) or big bang/black hole started in 2012. This rebooting or reseting or simulation has been going on for eternity for me. I don’t know why I feel this way. Mind uploading? How come I can tell and sense it and it seems like a rare or low probability that I can ‘intuition’ it and feel it.

Can anyone help me or perhaps I’m over sharing.

Like maybe the universe ended in 2011/2012 and for some reason I only remember the beginning of 2013. That’s what I’m trying to say. I’ve been stuck in this time loop for aeons or eternity. The past life stuff or stuff I made or created could be coming from a different aeon of sorts like information panspermia or something like it’s going through an ‘intelligent filter’ and being sent out sort of like information theory, which I don’t understand.

I have thought about my mind, soul, and consciousness being digitized and sent through outer space on a laser as a pulse (hitting the edge of the universe or just another planet earth) and landing in my brain. Michio Kaku talked about this. I could be an alien or from another planet earth lol. I don’t know.

I guess I sound nuts and crazy but letting the thoughts flow freely. It feels like punishment or could be replicated millions of times (the signal being sent that is); hence, the feelings of immortality. That each earth I land on (or the same one) feels the same or different depending on the ‘timeline’ or earth. For some reason, my past before 2013 doesn’t change and the universe doesn’t split off or branch before that year, which I find super strange and highly controversial and points to a time loop or simulation theory.

There could be thousands of earths out there or the same earth. I think I’m on the same earth though.

Thank you. Can anyone relate to these feelings?

My biggest concern is I keep being born or waking up in a simulation that starts and repeats itself since 2011, 2012, and 2013 (I think 2013) and I keep having schizophrenia and the same symptoms and I keep reseting back to the ‘day’. It’s pretty scary for me and traumatizing. Nobody else notices it or senses it although some people have speculated a Mayan Propechy type thing before and I even found a book on kindle. Mandela effects + memory? I don’t know. It’s pretty concerning to me.

I’ve been outside the simulation before and interacted with people. I’ve been to evil places like evil parallel universes and stuff and it’s not real in this life for sure as I have gathered and figured out and tried to get help on these forums. Strange stuff.

A delusion of mine is I wrote this letter in college a past life ago (millions or billions of lifetimes ago) in 2011 at college but woke up in 2013 at home. Some sort of time travel is going on and more.

Personally, I think we live in a computer program now. Worst thing is I cannot change my past and undo the schizophrenia. Feels like aliens are doing it, but I don’t know. I also thought Sam Wilson’s Book on Kindle/Amazon, which I own. The title is self-explanatory.

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