My sister's anorexia seems to be back

HI,

I have a sister who appears to be anorexic again
She drinks all day every day
she self injures severely
she has clinical depression and isolates, exercises too much,
wears baggy clothes and i think she lies about her weight / what she has eaten

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Take her to the doc…it might be good idea. .

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she thinks my method of getting well / seeking help is not for her, is paranoid of their intentions (thinks they look at her police record etc)
has no trust for them and has for years every visit she has been to the GP confirms her stance
i.e. she refuses help and gets angry

I hope you can get her to the doctor. my in laws one of their older nieces has an eating disorder. she also has a drug problem. she was told she has to wait 9 months before she can get her ssdi or ssi which ever she qualified for.

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she thinks my method of getting well / seeking help is not for her, is paranoid of their intentions (thinks they look at her police record etc)
has no trust for them and has for years every visit she has been to the GP confirms her stance
i.e. she refuses help and gets angry

She seems to have an abject fear of GP’s and professionals
I don’t think she wants to get well

@Thanna

Is your sister an adult? If not, do you have parents?

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She’s 38.

She lives with my mum - is incapable of independent living

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@Thanna

That’s a tough one. Mental illness takes a toll on the family as well as the person.

Can you request an involuntary 72-hour observation?

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I don’t know - i have tried about a couple of years ago - several times
makes her not trust me, although believes she doesn’t need help
she has severe anger problems
I’ve not tried recently
I think this phase of her illness will need to get worse (dangerous weight) before they would want her to get help enough for that
she has been suicidal for years

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@Thanna

Do you believe she presents a danger to your mum?

Good point - yes -
my mum has been suffering ‘elder abuse’ for years from her

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@Thanna

Maybe you can contact an elder abuse hotline and tell them the situation?

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There should be an adult protection service in your community. It’s like child protection services, only for elders and dependent adults. You can call them and see if they can help your mom by helping with the sister.

It’s probably not going to help your relationship with the sister though. For that matter, your mom might not be happy either. But you know them, you have to decide how bad/dangerous it is.

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she has me on side at the moment - yes - it would hurt the relationship

She wants to do a lot of camping and cycling with me this summer

I don’t know how well we will get on - i have difficulties with her socially and it often ends up with screaming at each other or her at me

i don’t really see how bad it is - my mum hides the bruises so to speak

That is a tough one. It is hard to help people who don’t want help.

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You have a duty to protect your mother. Don’t sit back and guess at the situation, your mother deserves to live in a safe, secure house free from abuse. Get some professionals to assess the living condition, and perhaps they can also get your sister into treatment. By the sound of it, you don’t have a chance at a good relationship with your sister while she is unstable anyway.

Nothing makes me angrier than when kids abuse their parents, there is NO excuse to stand by and allow this to go on.

Just to be clear it’s verbal not physical
I don’t know if you mean the same for this

Abuse is abuse. So you are aware your mom needs protection from your sister who needs treatment herself.
Please don’t allow this to continue, it may be the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do, but if you don’t do something, your hurting the two people that need it most.
Please get involved by doing the right thing.

@Thanna wow that is awful about your sister and your mum. I hope you get everything figured out soon !