My sister is so angry

My sister gets so angry whenever we interact. She apologizes, tells me she went off the rails and she’ll never do it again, three times so far. She is undiagnosed. But, frankly, she’s got a real problem. What can I do to help her?

She’s coming to visit in a couple weeks. She’ll stay with our Mom across town. We agreed in an email(after a series of nasty ones from her)that we’ll only see each other twice with my Mom present both times. And we are doing that to keep our Mom happy.

What I’ve tried so far: only bringing up topics where we have common ground(she argues anyway). I’ve tried humor. I’ve tried music.

Any other ideas? She turns 70 this summer.

My sister used to be quite nasty and have outbursts of anger, but since being prescribed the antidepressant Lexapro she has been as gentle as a lamb. She is a pleasure to be around now.

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@Sarah Do you think it would be a good idea to let her know an AD might help her? I guess I fear another anger outburst if I say anything.

I did with my sister. I threatened her with the “You don’t want to end up like me” scenario. That was enough to make her go and seek help.

Turn on music, really loud, so it drowns her out. Jk. I am sending good thoughts your way. I’m thinking having your Mom there may help. Good luck!

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What happens if you let her get angry?

I have some anger. I was working with a therapist, and I got angry at him! He was genuinely happy when I was angry at him.

J.

Hi Jayster
She bullies me. She gets nasty. If she would say something like, I feel angry when…fine…but, no, she goes on a personal verbal attack.

She and I have a long history of her bullying me, and me getting upset and being helpless to do anything…until I stopped allowing it…told her I wouldn’t let her in my home anymore. I’d just had enough.

Then our Mom(89 y.o.) gets upset. Says we’re her only family and we have to get along. So I say ok, so now once again it seems I’m at sis’ mercy to keep Mom happy. They were here a few days ago and no attacks but sis was pissy anyway. Tomorrow the holiday. Sure hope I can get through it without a meltdown of my own.

I’ve got my own anger issues concerning her.

Nutcase

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What about the suggestion of Lexapro? I take it and it’s a very good drug.

Maybe I’ll take it.
As for her, I’m afraid of her anger and she’ll blow if I suggest a med for her.

Nutcase

Maybe suggest it to your Mom and let her talk to your sister about it.

Good idea. Thanks Chordy!

Nutcase

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