My mom thinks it's ok my sister takes her anger out on me and not others

My sister has been insufferable to me lately. Totally rude and miserable and mean. I tell my mom this and she says “well you know your sister is sick all the time, she has the right to do this to you”. I say “how the hell does Matt (her husband) put up with that then???” She says “well she doesn’t treat Matt that way. She’s pleasant to him”. I say “that’s not fair then. If she’s capable of being pleasant to Matt, she should be pleasant to me”.

My mom says “you know your sister is sick all the time”. I say “this is getting kind of repetitive , but she hasn’t the right to take her anger out on me”. My mom says “you gotta talk to her about that, this is what I hate about this family, no one talks to other ppl when they have a problem with the other person”. I say “well obviously I’m not gonna confront her, she’ll snap at me and it’s not worth the argument with her, it’ll only make it worse”. My mom says “OKAY WHATEVER, I’m going to go take a shower”. I say “you talk about people avoiding problems with each other?? I bring issues to mind and you go and leave to take a shower”.

She says “I’ve been wanting to take a shower for an hour now”. I say “you’re stilll avoiding…”.

My sister Has been cruel, mean, a bad sibling much of her life, now my mom thinks it’s ok she takes her anger out on me. My mom said “but your sister was pleasant at the beach the other day…it was you who was not pleasant talking about suicide”. I say "wait wait wait what what what, my sister was pleasant??? Are you oblivious??? Maybe pleasant to you, but totally rude and hurtful to me, I was feeling depressed that day, and maybe it was her hurtful nature/taking her anger out toward me that triggered me to talk about suicide ".

My mom forgets I have a sickness too, and when my own sister is totally mean to me for no apparent reason, it might trigger me to be in a worse mood than I already am. The girl can’t take a frigging joke, u tell a joke she turns it around in a narcissistic “I’m better than your joke, you’re the joke” kind of way. Thank god I don’t live with this girl but it still affects my life.

And I think it’s totally unfair my favorism my mom has towards my sister. The unfairness. Just pissed off. I’ve been doing great the last 3 days I think as I’ve improved my lifestyle in many aspects but I had a bad day Tuesday. My sister seems to always be miserable and takes her anger out on me and not others. And my mom thinks it’s totally fair.

Maybe because I’m sza, my sister has a physical issue, there’s more stigma toward it. My mom claims to not stigmatize mi but I think she may be a bit. Plus my sister is married and stuff with a degree she’s most ashamed of me. I’m the younger one by 4+ years but being the youngest doesn’t always mean the favorite. I’ve never been the favorite.

The worst day of my sisters first 4 1/2 years of life was the day I was born. She even told me when I was young she didn’t want me born now she still has animosity toward me. She’s never been that “good ole big sister” she used to post pics of me on fbook when I was friends with her and write “weirdest kid ever”. She’s been a good sibling at times but doesn’t make up for the decades of abuse she’s given me. End of rant. Just pissed off.

I don’t think you can make someone nice. Clearly there is an issue on her end. I have some issues with my sister too, but there you are, it’s family and there’s not much you can do about it. Maybe tell her how you feel and make her aware of what she’s doing. Maybe it’s such a habit for her she does it without thinking

You are right. It was important for me to hear this though. So I could laugh it off a little more when she goes into her moods. And not take it to heart. Still a little frustrating she chooses me to be mean to after the decades of abuse from her. But I’ll try to practice acceptance some more toward her actions.

1 Like

I’d be polite to her but avoid her as much as possible. Sounds like the relationship has broken down.