Losing my patience and my temper

My grandmother asks me to do things for her and I lose my patience and temper. Problem is when she wants something it has to be instant, she doesn’t want to wait for anything or anybody. I am upstairs right now and she has shouted for me 100 times in 10 minutes to change the channel. I’m such an evil cow. I don’t do things for her all the time.

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Seriously I am going to lose my mind.

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I’m sorry your in that situation… your not evil…

I can understand how frustrating it is…

I bet your coming to the end of your rope… hopefully you can teach her how to use the remote and she’ll give you moment’s rest.


You’ll miss her when she’s gone. My advice is try and get to know her way before that time. Let her get to know you also.

Every year at xmas my grandfather (mums dad) would say “You can choose your friends but not your family.”

Sorry that’s happening also that I’m probably not being that helpful. Do remember to breathe though. Counting to ten helps also. (((hugs)))


Bagged from another thread where I just posted it:

Anger pumps up the healthy “fight or flight” response of the sympathetic branch of the autonomoic nervous systems into unhealthy “freak and fry,” which actually induces inflammation in the limbic emotion regulation system. In sz pts, that inflammation is already there, and anger makes it worse.

Inflammation is the principle target of the dopamine-supressing anti-Ps, though they come at it in a crude and very round-about way. Some – though not all – pts can also take non-steroidal anti-inflammatoires like Motrin ibuprofen or Alleve naproxyn at low dose levels and get some reduction of the inflammation that is both cause and result of rage.

But exogenous pharmacological interventions are almost always sfx-inducing. The better route – if one is able to use it – is psychotherapy, which (if done properly) does not produce any physiological sfx.

The best ones for reactive anger at this time are…

DBT – http://behavioraltech.org/resources/whatisdbt.cfm
MBSR – http://www.mindfullivingprograms.com/whatMBSR.php
ACT – https://contextualscience.org/act
MBBT – https://www.newharbinger.com/blog/introduction-mind-body-bridging-i-system
10 StEP – http://pairadocks.blogspot.com/2015/04/the-10-steps-of-emotion-processing.html


I agree with Soitgoes, when she’s gone you may miss her.

When I was really really bad I was locked up in my apartment for years and the only place that I went was to the liquor store which was right across the street.

My ma being the kindest person that she is would drop off groceries on her way home (she’d drive by my apartment everyday on the way home) and I literally chased her off eith my cruelty. …but she always came back.

I thank God for her…even though I don’t care too much for HIM right now.

Im very glad that I got over that for the most part.

I still lash out irrationally but not always at her and I talked with her and she understands.

Try talking to her seriously ,I spent some time with the elderly and sometimes they just want to be acknowledged as still existing.

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:laughing: sorry but this is like a movie to me! I’m sorry for both of you…

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Maybe it would help if you took a break and did something enjoyable - eat an ice cream cone or go to a movie. See if you can get away from your grandmother for a while.

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Before I threw my back out excercise always made me feel better when I was having a especially bad day.

I hope that you feel better.

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I’m not sure of the time difference,but have things improved @anon80629714?

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I feel horrible and I went outside but felt calm after I got back. Just needed fresh air.


Spoke to soon, lost my temper again with my mother this morning. I think I need to see someone soon rather than wait for September.

Maybe talk to her gently about the way you feel. Tell her you get annoyed

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When was the last time you spend time away from her/the house? Was thinking a long walk might do the trick. Maybe for all of you.

@Dreamscape @Smprz84 @shellys12 @anon80629714 @crimby

Critical though it may sound at first, I’m going to suggest that attempting to deal anger (or any other emotion) at the level of the drama itself provides temporary solutions at best, and no real fix at worst. The only thing that has worked for me – and for hundreds of people I have worked with – is to deal with those emotions at their core. Which is why I keep posting that list of mindfulness-based cognitive psychotherapies (as above).

One can try to change the scenery and the lighting. Even the director, the actors and the script. But if one does not identify and uproot the carried cognitive >< emotional >< behavioral feedback loops that are being re-triggered by the drama, one should not expect any lasting change.



Get over your egotism and read where she starts therapy in Sep. Think before you jump down every bodies throats please. ie be mindful.

Sorry ish

Hurray for the Grey Knight, I suppose. Because I will suggest that “my egotism” is your interpretation.

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