No, not one bit.
It seems my schizophrenia can invent new feelings on an “as needed” basis. My mom called me, and immediately I felt an alien feeling of “getting caught in doing something wrong + guilt”, while I was just lying in my bed.
I have felt “bad beauty”. Such a thing shouldn’t even exist!
Can the brain invent new feelings?
I have “fake thoughts” that are smart sometimes. I have a voice that comments on chess moves when I’m playing and he can be helpful. You just have to remember that all of these thoughts are actually coming from somewhere in you own mind. You are the “fake thoughts” so you are that smart. Your brain is just not typical and the thoughts come in differently than most.
You can’t think things that you aren’t able to think yourself … if that makes sense.
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The fake thoughts seem to be smarter than I was, in ways I described above. If I am that smart, then it means my intelligence and creativity was for some reason restricted before schizophrenia hit me fully.
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The fake thoughts can talk to me (mostly telling me “You’re going to be tortured after death” more than 100 times a day)
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I’ve had an empty thought (I felt there was a fake thought, but it had no content). I don’t think there can be empty thoughts in other people.
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The fake thoughts feel different from normal thoughts, and there have been different versions of fake thoughts by their feeling.
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There is something intelligent (whether a process in my brain, or something else, I don’t know) controlling them, something that gives them an entirely different purpose from normal thoughts. Their purpose has been mostly
1)) to accuse me of various things, and
2)) to tell me I’m going to tortured after death forever.
The analysis of the projects I had planned before started only recently. According to the voices the purpose of that is to show how they’re more intelligent than I am/was.
I completely understand what your saying. I also understand wanting to figure it all out and have some clear idea if what all your thoughts are. I was just sharing what I have learned through my journey.
Do you have someone near you that can listen to what your thoughts are and give you some guidance?
There doesn’t seem to be much point to discussing the content of the fake/inserted thoughts. They behave unlike normal thoughts, and they do not submit themselves to therapy like normal thoughts. I already had an appointment with the psychologist, and she decided there is no point in doing therapy. By the way, my mind was completely blank, void of any thoughts, during the entire meeting.
It’s impossible to prove or disprove that I’m going to be tortured after death forever (at least with the current state of science), so they’ll keep repeating it.
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