Schizophrenia.com

Am I possessed or is it schizophrenia?

First of all, this is posted in the Unusual beliefs section even though it is not my belief (as far as I am aware) that it’s possession, it’s just a theory. It seems I am unable to believe in anything, unless my condition wants me to believe in something. I can’t even be paranoid, because I’m unable to think. Anyway, the thread’s topic seems unusual enough, and here it goes.

I have been diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My body seems to move by itself (feels like moving itself). That includes doing everyday things and writing this thing - everything my body does seems to happen by itself rather than me doing it by will. Rein no longer seems to have control over his own body. It is as if he is possessed by some demon or spirit, and I am that spirit who possesses him and I am now writing this (on his behalf and from his perspective) and doing everything. Sometimes the voices in my head seem to be either able to move my body or predict when it happens. For example just now they said “We will now move this hand towards the screen.” and my hand indeed moved towards the screen. I have also attempted suicide, or rather, that spirit or demon tried to kill me - it could duplicate the feeling of moving your limbs and body by intent, and apply it while the body was moving by itself, resulting in me feeling it as if it is me who’s attempting a suicide, and for no apparent reason. Sometimes my head makes strange movements (like shaking, nodding, grinning weirdly, opening and closing the mouth repeatedly, showing tongue, or making weird faces) or my mouth speaks, by itself. It is not only limited to my face - a few times I have waved around with my hands unwillingly or started jumping up and down as I walk - also done by the body itself.

I have never acted like this before, nor do I think I have invented myself some of the strange movements which happen repeatedly, so I am assuming it may be paranormal in origin. My doctor’s opinion is that it’s just a feeling that my body is moving by itself and it’s actually me doing everything, but there is no way I would verbally threaten myself (literally, my mouth has told me “I will kill you.”) or attempt to kill myself for no apparent reason at all. Also, those mysterious head’s movements are not random either, they are usually a response to something. Usually when I hear something related to death, a double head shake will ensue. A taboo topic: a half head shake from left to right. When it lies to someone or makes a mistake it will hum (with my vocal cords). If I get a death threat as a fake thought or concept in my head then it will nod. If it finds something funny it will nod several times with my tongue showing out and eyelids blinking. This is not me, I would not act like this.

There have been instances where it has started messing around with my entire body in the middle of night. I have posted videos of it happening here:


I have voices in my head (most of the time I feel them rather than hear them). They comment on the things I do, or I see happening around me, or what is happening inside me most of the time. I get threatened every day that I’m going to be tortured for the eternity after I die, and that I should try to escape from this thing somehow (although they also tell me they will try to stop me from escaping it). They also often threaten that the spirit that possesses me is going to kill me. It has already tried to kill me while I was in the hospital, and also one time before I was in the hospital. The voices appear to be fairly intelligent occasionally. One time I hadn’t been sleeping for days and then the voices told “Today you’re going to sleep” and indeed I slept that day. At another time the voices could tell in advance what is going to happen in my dream. Recently the content of my dreams has been entirely about the strange experiences I’ve been having, and I’ve had those voices in some dreams as well. The voices call them “fake dreams” and claim that the program that controls the voices produces those dreams. Other topics from both the voices and fake thoughts are how they’ve ruined my life and reminding what I could have done without this condition, and how I’m guilty of the various things it has dug up from my memory that I’ve done wrong in my life. The last one is also the reason why they’re saying I’m going to be tortured after death - they claim that I’ve done those things because my soul is ill, and everlasting torture is an effective way to control me and prevents me from reincarnating in the highly advanced ET society this “spirit”/“demon” was engineered in (supposedly they’ve learned to tap into and program the space where souls exist, and send targeted attacks down that plane as “spirits”/“demons”, causing such “schizophrenia” in targets).

There was a period during which I was subject to what I’d call intelligent torture. I felt a really bad feeling, which is like pain and restlessness combined. It was intelligent because it would only ease up during walking, eating, sleeping, talking to the doctor or being in the line to get my medications, and so I spent most of the days in the hospital walking in the corridor all day long. I wouldn’t wish that torture upon anyone, and the voices keep telling me I’m going to be tortured forever, more than I’ve ever been tortured before, after I die. Those voices simply call it torture (in plural, in my language) and they told I was to be tortured unless I’m walking, or on some important business. I don’t know what was the purpose of having me walking all the time.

While I’m not being tortured to the extent I was before (it was worse than pain), it can still inflict aches in my head, sometimes quite strong like a toothache, and there are pretty much all the time (they disappear when doing certain things) some unpleasant feelings I feel in my head or body. The voices have told the purpose of this is to calibrate my soul to reincarnate in a place where I’m going to be tortured.

I no longer have any emotions. For example I used to play computer games and watch films and Youtube videos before but I no longer get any enjoyment from it.

I no longer have any thoughts. My mind is completely empty most of the time. Sometimes I have ideas, thoughts or concepts which are foreign to me - I seem to understand them, but I also feel they are not mine. My own thoughts are completely gone, or hidden from my consciousness.

I completely lack the will to do anything, nothing interests me any more, so I spend most of the day in the bed.

The medications I’ve been taking haven’t had any noticeable effects.

Someone suggested praying to God, but the voices say it won’t count, because it’s the spirit that is praying, not me. Also, it has the ability to block me from understanding the text that I am reading and also block out the meaning of the words that come out of my (or someone else’s) mouth: I can normally understand everything, but when it comes to the Lord’s prayer or something similar then I can no longer understand what is written or what comes out of my mouth.

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Welcome here :slight_smile:
How long have you been on antipsychotics and are you taking it every day.
Sometimes it can take a while to have effect apparently

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Been on them for roughly a year now, taking them every day as prescribed - only because they have no apparent side effects.

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Take your meds! ASAP!

Even though my parents believe I was being attacked by possibly possessed by spirits I still like to think this is not the case. I also had some weird things making me feel like omg are they in control of me even my thoughts at one point I thought weren’t mine anymore. Hope you get through this

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WOW. All I can say is you wrote almost everything I experience. I have yet to find anyone else with so many similar experiences as me as you do. The beings/voices have also took full control of my dreams and made me feel horrible for any small mistake I have done in my life by displaying it in my dreams as well. They torture me this way and give me multiple dreams every night. There are rarely any ever positive dreams. I wake up each night from this going straight to the voices messing with my body and saying things non stop. The only time I do not experience dreams is when the give me insomnia. I never get a break from it. I feel completely lost in the world because I suppress what is truly happening because I know how it sounds.

I too experience the body being controlled against my will, it will move certain parts of my body at random times, and try to trip me sometimes while I walk. It is not me doing this and not “in my head”, I physically feel this and it ranges from a variety of body manipulations that I would not do to myself. Whatever is controlling the body can also take control of what I say and randomly form words and say something like, “DIE”, or “DEATH TO AMERICA” (while I was throwing up), or “GO TO HELL, WHORE.” I never would say these types of things to myself, and yet this has occurred. During the body being manipulated against my will, I hear the voices say things simultaneously that leads me to believe they are behind it (among other reasons why I believe this). They have taken full control of my body (which I will not get into) and it was beyond frightening and embarrassing. I believe they will do this again when they tell me that I will commit suicide/die. I know I do not wish to do suicide, but they have the ability to take control of the body and make the body do something the actual consciousness does not. I don’t know how best to explain this, but this is my best try at it. It sounds ridiculous, but this is just a glimpse of what I continue to truly deal with day and night.

There’s a lot if different antipsychotic meds. I went through quite a lot before I found one that helped.

One of them made me feel worse even.

You need to speak to your doctor and explain that you need a med change (or even a dose increase)

As a last resort you can ask them about Clozapine. This is a highly effective antipsychotic.

May I ask what meds you’re currently on ?

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Praying helps as long as you believe.
Also don’t expect your deity to talk back to you. It’s probably just another nasty voice.
Try your best to ignore them. A change in AP might do the trick if your current one doesn’t quieten the voices.

Both terms involve a lot of illogical and misunderstood subject matter.

But I thinking you might be possessesed is more unbelievable.

Welcome to the forum.:slightly_smiling_face:

Can you swap medication?

Maybe another medication will help you.

You should talk to your Dr about changing medication because your current one is not helping you.

I have had similar symptoms and it is indeed torture.

I’m sorry you are experiencing such hardship and wish you to get better and get well and not suffer so anymore.

Remember you can get better.

I did.

Hang in there.

Hope you will be able to enjoy things again and just get better and recover.

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Pretty sure it’s something messed up in the motor function area of the brain. My face often mouths the words as the voices speak them, against my will, and I’m not sure how the two have become connected. Thankfully the mouth only moves with the voices, when the voices are silent I don’t have this problem.

Iv been going to some of the same things including that the voices say that iam going to get tortured forever but I dont belive it I know that some day they will stop they also say that nothing is me and it’s all them doing stuff for me me but I still feel like I still sort of have free will but alot of my thoughts are gone and the voice in my head head is gone that used to be me but I still have enjoyment the voices even help with that and say it’s not for me but for them cuz they are experiencing though my body. It’s bad for me they give me visions and feelings of hell and my family getting tortured. It’s really bad they say that iam gonna die when when iam old or they can kill me to be a god but they say I failed cuz I smoke cigs but I dont belive that they say iam the weakest being and I think there are worst out there that smoke meth and stuff. They do some thing so I dont feel nicotine or drugs any more and say that they disconnected brain tissue and I dont belive that. They also say that they are testing me and give good thoughts as well as bad ones to see whether I accept the bad ones or negative ones they say are true but I know them not to be true. They tell the future and say they are real people not demons but I know this to be a lie to they scare the crap out of me and threaten me with pain beyond what I can understand. They seem to tell the future by making me thing or say some thing then some one else is saying or on tv. They say that all I do is them and not me any more and get really mad at me for enjoying stuff like food sex and most of all ciggorets which i am quitting tonight becouse iam tired of hearing it from them about how they are gonna torture me for smoking they also say that a trillion people are watching me becouse iam so week and cry and they give me fealings to smoke to see if I do and make a huge deal out of it. They say that there was a death game that played with every body they pasted and left me behind to be gods and iam the only one left and no one is real or them they always threaten my mom with hell or it’s not her or that she is in hell and they tell me to do stuff to save her and they say iam am the only one that is going to hell forever cuz I smoke but the fealings i get to smoke are strong and i like to smoke but the voices even said they would leave me if i quit but now they say it to late cuz i smoked. They control my body by making me do hand gestures I certain ways at times to make it seem like its them or to send me a message they also say that they will eat me or take my body out of its reality to torture and they say that it’s all in my memory that I am going to expernce it when I die and it alot or torture that they say that they do. This all started when they said that they where god, jesus, the red dragon, the virgin Mary. I even had a time where it was fun and spoke in different voices and attacked my mom which I know want me cuz I love my mom more than any thing. This has been going on for three years now and the meds haven’t been working I know it’s a sprirt cuz I saw shadow people and a flouting roting head with fire. These voices are smart as hell and are good at calculating things like what happens in video games to send a message the street names around where I live reflect my delusions which is weird or things on tv will reflect my life and tell me that I was planned as a joke to be the weakest. I know this to be a lie and god is with me but they say that they are god and he made me as a joke like I have previously stated. They set up coincidences all day long to freak me out. They also love to give me feelings In my body to boost what they have to say. I feel as though I opened my self to some demon that has been with me since I’ve been little and they talk in cartoons and show me such and say they are making a moving I hope that one day we both find a cure as iv been to many shawmans that couldn’t take them away. God bless

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I get this a lot.

To reduce the movements, ignore them and focus on what you’re doing. It’ll go down over time. The movements might change up but keep ignoring them.

Also, if the movements try to hurt you, certain weightlifting exercises help specifically lat pull downs and tricep dips. It will limit your range of motion so you can’t hit yourself.

Guys, stop encouraging OP’s delusions. They’re not possessed. Also, see the guidelines for the rule against religious content.

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what meds did you agree too?

In my case it is not moving my body against my will, because it appears I no longer have free will - I am unable to move my body, or say things whether out loud or in my mind. This “spirit”/“condition” is controlling my body 100% of the time, as far as I can tell from how I feel my body. It is however making moves against my “theoretical” will (what I would do), or other words against a rational mind. This post was also written by this spirit/condition, not Rein (although it was written on his behalf and from his perspective) - as far as he can tell. Rein is now just an observer in the background, unable to have any say in what the mind or body does.

Lorazepam on morning and noon, Quetiapine before going to sleep. Last time I was in the hospital they removed daily antipsychotic because it didn’t help and my condition didn’t worsen, and added Quetiapine because I had trouble getting sleep. My next appointment for the doctor is in December.

There is nothing I can do if this spirit/condition decides to hurt me or someone else. Nothing stopped it from cutting my wrist in attempt to kill me. The attempt was only unsuccessful because even though it cut pretty deep the blood was dripping slowly so it called the ambulance instead after seeing that I won’t die.

It doesn’t sound like you’re on an antipsychotic then ? Also Quetiapine actually made me worse.

You need to get on an antipsychotic that works for you.

See if you can get an earlier appointment. December is a long way off.

Whether it is a delusion or reality I cannot tell, because considering the symptoms it is impossible to tell whether it is a spiritual possession or something the brain has composed/revealed (unless you believe that spiritual possession is only fiction). The reality is, that an entirely new character is now in control of my body. That character seems to be in part composed of how I used to act (it walks and does a few things just as I would have done), and in part entirely new behaviour. That new behaviour does not follow common reason, and can be split into three types:

  1. Sometimes the purpose why it does certain moves or actions is unknown, such as, without any thought or emotion being behind it, threatening to kill me or my relatives, (verbally, as a fake concept/thought in my mind, or a combination of the previous and a physical movement towards completing that action - like me suddenly going to the next room to take two metal bars which I could then stick in the wall socket), or doing some of this:

Do you see any logical purpose to do any of this?

  1. At other times the “condition” apparently wants to prove that I’m possessed by a spirit. An example of this is voices just now telling me “We’re now going to show you are possessed by a spirit.” and me suddenly standing up to jump up and down, flapping my hands like wings.

  2. Finally there is something the voices call the “program”. This supposedly controls all of the symptoms. Part of its doing is creating a VERY STRONG AND BAD feeling (seemingly physical, worse than pain) in my body (which the voices rightly call torture) forcing this “spirit” to pretty much jump out of the bed to go walking, because that is the only remedy to it, excluding a few other actions the voices consider important - that “program” is intelligent enough to recognize them and then limit the amount of torture it applies to me, or removes it completely, and that change happens pretty quickly. Yet another unreasonable behaviour - why would it force me to walk all day long is beyond me. And over time it increased the amount of torture it applied, even during walking. Regarding the brain composing things, do you see any random glitch or chemical imbalance in the brain to create such intelligent and bad (or evil, even) activity? Luckily, for now, that period is over, and now I just lie in the bed. The inconvenience is not entirely over, though. Now I still feel bad sensations in my head and body as I mentioned in my first post, at times, and they, too, disappear (sometimes temporarily) when doing certain actions.