I Know They Don't

I know I’m faking my schizophrenic part of my illnesses or whatever. I know I’m faking schizophrenia. I don’t know it but I do. Everyone is obviously wrong. They say I’m not but I know that I am. They just can’t tell. I must be a really good faker. Maybe it’s because of my past. I’ve read a lot about my illness so I’m probably faking it. I know that I’m not faking it at the same time but I know that my mind is keeping me ignorant and semi-knowledgeable about this. It’s making me get into these situations that are horrible that seem to be very delicately placed. Something in me is controlling and manipulating everything it pleases to do. This includes myself. I know that I’m consciously doing this as well. I can’t really remember much from the past few years because of my medicine but they also said that it is because of my condition. I don’t know why I would fake it. Maybe because I’m trying to start drama? I don’t really know. I hope that someone in real life will convince me that I’m faking so that I will stop having the illness. If I don’t stop then I must be faking still. I don’t know.

1 Like

I know I can stop faking. I know I can stop this illness. I’ve just got to somehow find out how to do this.

Wouldn’t it be nicer if we could all get fake tans?

What I’m saying is that my mind is controlling everything and it deceives me. It is in control. I don’t know what is happening but it is controlling the people around me and it is controlling me and it keeps me in the dark about everything. I don’t know if it is evil. It is the one who is causing my problems. It is manipulating me and keeping me ignorant about everything about my life in myself. It’s hurting everyone else too. I don’t know but I think it might be extremely evil.

It’s making me have schizophrenia. It made me have issues. It’s fake. It’s making me fake them. But I really have it. But I have it because it’s making me have it. It’s keeping me in the dark while it does everything that makes people miserable. I want to kill it somehow.

That’s why we take meds and take care of ourselves.

I think I know what you mean, outside forces causing the sz. Yes it can happen.

Your explanation of why you think you don’t have schizophrenia makes you sound like you have schizophrenia. But I know what you mean. In the past, I’ve felt like if I really wanted to, that I could snap out if it and not have schizophrenia any more.There are actually recorded cases of people doing that, though it is rare.

I agree. It doesn’t get better on it’s own.

Yeah. I know I have schizophrenia. I’m feeling better now. What I was thinking was that there’s another person in my body who’s controlling me. I still think my mind is controlling me but I know I really do have schizophrenia. I’m guess I should say I’m sorry if I bothered you all. Maybe it entertained you…whatever.

No need to apologize. Your post wasn’t offensive or out of line. I don’t know about anyone else, but it sure didn’t bother ME.