My schizophrenia 3

The alien unpleasant feelings have become more frequent. The common places for my schizophrenia to put those feelings are my feet, head or stomach.

Recently I’ve also been feeling a pressure feeling in the middle of my forehead.

I didn’t read the past post cause I’m not going to lie they were a little long :grin: but have you tried confusing your brain… like tasting something nasty so it makes it taste good… nicotine helped me first it was cigarettes now chewing tobacco has done it for me… not suggesting to do that exactly but I do pretty good at confusing my schizophrenia

The way my schizophrenia applies those feelings:
First the feeling is turned on for a really short time, like for ~2 seconds or less, and then turned off again. This happens repeatedly during the times of torture, sometimes as often as every 5 seconds, or even more frequently.

Often it seems my schizophrenia is trying to confuse me, by applying fake feelings, etc.

Another way my schizophrenia is messing with me:
Occasionally the voice tells a phrase (that is usually out of place, and may not make much sense), and says “That is a hint.” The inserted thoughts have said that they’re supposed to help me escape the torture after death, and the voice said I’m supposed to react to those hints now.

My schizophrenia can inflict “imaginary” pain in my body, and it feels almost like real pain (as if cutting with something). It’s been doing it my right hand’s index finger for a while now.
The voice said they like torturing me.

It sounds like somatoform and dissociation disorders not SZ.
Ask your psychiatrist about those symptoms?

Now it’s doing it to my middle finger.

First it did that to my index finger, then to the middle finger, then to the big foot, and now to the thumb. Pretty sure this is a controlled torture. I’ve had intelligently controlled torture before, only with different feelings.

I’ve counted having about 60 different types of symptoms.

Dear Rein,

I’m sure it is uncomfortable for you.


having had*

Right now my Schizophrenia is making me feel like my body is made of plastic …
I’m also dealing with a physical blunt misery pain in my chest …
And also some heartburn …
What a rotten day today :sweat:

The voices/inserted thoughts are saying I should not eat something because it tastes pleasant, because it’s a “forbidden” pleasantness - a fake pleasantness that my schizophrenia adds to the taste, and every time I eat something to feel the pleasant taste it supposedly decreases my chance of escaping the torture after death. Sometimes I can tell the pleasantness is unusual, sometimes I can’t. They are saying I should try to avoid eating when I don’t have to, because then I would have more chance to escape the torture, even though they say there is already more than 99.99% chance that I will suffer eternal torture after death, and every time I do something irrational the chance of escaping the torture decreases further.

But there is nothing I can do - it appears/feels like I am not controlling my body. It behaves strangely, and has an unusual eating pattern/schedule compared to the time when I still controlled my body (for example it eats by the clock; I only ate by the clock when I had to go to school or work), and there is nothing I can do to prevent it from eating when it doesn’t have to. I’ve been told that this doesn’t count because after death I will be made to believe that I controlled my body.

(After I deleted my post and tried to post the same thing again the forum gives me an error “Body is too similar to what you recently posted”)

Another thing my schizophrenia likes to do is create a good impression of something by adding a pleasant vibe to it (such as an attractive woman or a cute animal), and later, sometimes repeatedly, create a bad feeling or add a bad vibe to it when I see a similar object again or when I’m being shown it as a mental image, or removes the pleasant aspect the next time (such as when eating something something it makes me feel a pleasant taste, but a few days later the same thing no longer tastes pleasant).

I’m being told it’s to cause me to be disappointed because /apparently/ I want to see it again. For example I saw a video of a young woman and it added a pretty vibe to it. The next few times my body watched that video again it added an indistinct or menacing vibe to it.

Sometimes it does that even when my will can’t be involved - such as when I heard some music (which I can’t help when it happens) it added a good/pleasant vibe to it, and the next time I heard music it added an indistinct or suspicious vibe to it. The fake thoughts claim it was a deliberate act - supposedly I /listened/ to it, and then said they know I didn’t really listen to it, but it won’t matter after death because I can be made to believe I did listen to it.

The voices were fairly neutral in their attitude for a while, but recently the voices (and inserted thoughts) have been showing more sick and evil behavior (such as saying I enjoy being tortured).

They done on and off things to me to they have made food taste really good and say they are god and iam the last one cuz I cant quit smoking for a day. They say that it’s all over and iam gonna get tortured for ever cuz I smoked they keep comparing it to the story in the garden of eden. They can turn the flap in my throat open and close while I lay down to choke me. They can make me go pee and say that I really don’t have to go but then I still go they lie alot and say it easy the quit smoking but it’s the hardest thing iv ever had to do. The thoughts to smoke are to strong and I get the fealling thought that it’s to late any ways Iv smoked enuf jam just gonna get tortured for ever so I smoke. They also stop torturing me and making me feel uncomfortable when I smoke but make the biggest deal out of it saying that iam the only one that would have smoked. They torment me day and night about archons illuminati say that’s what they are and say thay are chosen by god to mess with people. They say that all people ever pasted and just yelled at me that it’s true and the word true went all caps on my phone to make it more of a point that iam the last one. They say iam the weakest being and never gonna see my mom again and the mom that is with me now is not real. They say every thing is a lie and torture me by making me feel suffocation type pains while giving me the intrusive thought that this is gonna be a trillion times worse when I die and for ever. They keep bringing me syncronisitys and coinicidents on tv movies and video games all the time and in super markets the placements of businesses. They also so say that earth is gone and I live in a dome. They keep controlling my body to prove their points and say that that I can beat their control that more than half of people did it and when I try its impossible. It never ends and they say that every one rapes me and my mom for masterbating. They say that I am gonna pay for every thing that iv ever done. I keep seeing coinicidents about the illuminati in music and movies it never ends and time feels like its speeding up sort of and they say they dont want me to live a long life and I am only gonna live for 17 more years. I tell them that I dont want to play their game and to shut up but they dont listen. They keep showing me images of cartoons to prove their petty points and make fun of me for ever thing from having a week mind to me not accepting their dark reality. All my memories seem to be gone and the only thing that I could envision in my mind is what they show me as they say all my memories are gone. They any memories that I have are programs. I hope u get better rein cuz I seem to be getting worse. They also say they took all my talents or that my talents are them

When unmedicated I tried to harm my mother by throwing a phone on her face because I thought she raped me when I was young and she watches me when I masturbate but that’s not true, only delusions. I thought she was the cause of my SZ. It all stopped when I took my meds. Why not increase your meds dosage or take high dose clozapine?

My schizophrenia produces different kinds of fake feelings and other feelings, which the voices or inserted thoughts tell are forbidden to react to - if I react to them it will increase my chances of being tortured after death. Even though it appears to me I’m not in control of my body and therefore it’s not me who reacts to them. Some of the feelings are unbearable feelings in some part of my body which disappear if that part of the body moves, which they say is also a forbidden reaction. Often it produces a fake urge to pee feeling, which mostly disappears when peeing but sometimes goes away on its own. There have been at least 3 different ‘fake urge to pee’ feelings.

I’ve been told most if not all of what my schizophrenia does to me is to condition my soul and spiritual memory so that I would suffer eternal infinite torture after death.

They’ve also told that they don’t believe you’re going to be tortured, because the things your voices tell you are ridiculous, while the things my voices/inserted thoughts tell me make sense most of the time. They seem to be very intelligent, and they’ve come up with logical reasons why the extraterrestrials would want to torture me.

My sadistic schizophrenia is doing it again. Now it’s cutting my arm. It has removed the “imaginary” aspect of the feeling, and now it’s like real, sharp cutting pain.
It also put a sick smile feeling on my face, and the voices have a sadistic smiling vibe to them.

Schizophrenia is definitely the sickest of all sicknesses.