My mother just called me up and wants me to meet her on Wednesday! to take her name off my account. This is really stressing me out! She is really stressing me out! She already has me having zero dollars in my account and of course she is afraid of it affecting her CREDIT SCORE! I told her that I can not go today; because, I am waiting for a telephone call about the problems that I am having with my medication. I can not go Tuesday because I am trying out a new psychosocial rehabilitation program. I am trying to get in touch with another bank/financial place that I do business with to get some questions answered and maybe move my account there. But, I have not felt well because of trying this medicine. I put a call into my therapist. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO DESERVE SUCH AN UNFEELING, SELFISH MOTHER WHO DOESN’T EVEN CARE HOW SHE AFFECTS MY DISEASE? IT IS HELL ENOUGH ANYWAY WITHOUT HER CONTINUING HARASSMENT ABOUT MONEY. DID YOU KNOW SHE NEVER EVEN ASKS ME HOW I’VE EATEN, SLEPT, OR ANYTHING ELSE? SHE HAS A COLD OR SOMETHING AND ALL ELSE SHE CAN SAY IS WHY I CAN’T COME TO SEE BECAUSE I TOLD HER SHE WAS SO “FAR AWAY” FROM ME! SHE LIVES ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN! At least, I have my beloved cat and I know that my therapist is on my side. My mother is so hung up about money that she does not care if she makes my symptoms worse. I know that they discounted the theory of parental interaction in causing schizophrenia; but, I think parental words and actions like my mothers may not be the cause; but an instigator! I apologize for this long entry and my venting; but, she makes me tired and without words and thoughts!
It’s not that I do not want my account to be mine, so that I may manage as I please; but it is my mother’s attitude about the whole money thing. She seeks to denigrate me and call me in her way as a very bad person based only on the way that she thinks I should handle my finances. Something is wrong with me in her mind and is impinging on her precious money. I have been seeking to move my money to another bank; but, I need to call them to get some questions answered. However, I have been trying to straighten out this medication thing and manage my reoccurring symptoms. So, I am now awaiting calls from both my therapist and my doctor’s nurse about my medication. I think it is just her whole attitude about the whole thing-that her impression of how I spend my money has made me evil. Right now, there is no Mother’s Day for me!