ok, honestly I make hysterias in front of my mother cause my mood is really low. the truth is that it is low since I am child. I even dont have a photo where I am happy and smiling. now its critical… its the negatives symptoms I guess… my mother keeps saying me that ill never get better. that eventually only the schizophrenics with positives symptoms get better. I get mad when she talks to me like this… really! I wanna punch her, I have these ideas of punching her in my head. I dont do it of course but I am so desperate… otherwise I am alone. and in the evenings its always really bad here. I am so anguished that ill stay alone, it drives me crazy. its demanding too much from the life also cause the truth is that everybody is alone in some kind of way… I dont know what to do more for myself. going outside more often? yeah- anhedonia here and lack of motivation I have those things…
pls, tell me somebody here who was in a bad shape for years and who got better one day?..please… how did you do it? somebody with negatives symptoms… my mother doesn’t understand why I dont go outside… maybe I am depressed, I dont know anymore whats wrong with me…
the only thing that I get with posts like this is the deception of others by me…that’s what I got now. maybe the life wants it like this.
Actually, it’s the people with negative symptoms who get better. Anger which I have, means it will get worse for me.
ok,i see. my mother is also telling me that I am not the biggest sufferer on earth, I guess thinking like that pisses the others. but in the evenings I feel so much anger that I have pains physically. my stomach is tight, I have the impression that I suffocate, I cant breathe well and I cant sleep. plus, I guess I still have some thought disorder, I dont have good and right ideas… what do you mean ‘‘anger means that ill get worse?’’. I have it too much also 
.
Hey, first I’d like to say that your mother is not treating your illness the right way, she’s definitely uninformed and the best thing for you to do is try to explain to her what your illness actually is.
My mood was pretty low from 12-16 years old I had severe depression along with psychosis and anxiety. I’m now 17 and my mood is pretty good, antidepressants helped me so much! I am a million times better than I was back then even though I still get the odd relapse. I owe everything to my psychologist, my medication and myself. Because medication itself doesn’t do much, you have to try hard too and it is hard but it is so worth it in the end!
Is it a possibility for you to go to therapy and take your mother with you? Maybe if an official person explains your illness to her she will believe what they say and understand it more. Don’t be mad at her though, dealing with an ill family member is hard on everyone, she’s struggling too.
Maybe life does want you to be like this but maybe if you didn’t have this illness you wouldn’t be such a nice person, not as talented at things, etc. There are ways it is a blessing even though you have to go through so much with it.
Things do get better! So many people are proof of that including me! 
witch, do you think like me that its a progress in my case that I am already more rebel than ever? against all the hard friends and my bad family which is so desperate for me… I hate this… I know, the goal is to love each others which I cant do it right now but maybe it is a good think to be rebellious right now? I feel a lot of rage recently on my meds, its strange. my head is clearer from autistic thoughts but this energy goes in rage right now. the problem is that I am dependant from my mother still and she wants from me to be more active which I cant do right now… that’s why I am worried. she says that she is tired of providing me food and everything… sometimes I help her by going with her to the market but its still rare…
Anyone depressants have also helped me hugely
I think I was depressed for years
while this is a recognised part of Schizophrenia
it is still overlooked which I find really difficult
I got well after the worst 3 years of my life came the best 10
I don’t know your age, location, or if you have confirmed diagnosis.
If you are of age and in USA, there are programs that can help you get out of your house and on your own. I agree with @witch if there is a way to get your mom to go to a therapy session that could help a lot. I have the same issue with my family. They don’t understand what goes on in my head or with me in general. Mostly it is because my mom has some sz symptoms but was able to remain fully functional - hold job, retire, do all the normie things. She can’t understand how I can be worse than her.
It is very hard without having a good support system. Meds can only do so much. I know a lot of people do not like Nami here, but they can get you in touch with support groups and help that doctors can’t. If your mom won’t reach out for you, your only option is to do so yourself or get your pdoc to help.
thanks, no I am not in the us. I am in easterne Europe where the system is quite bad. we have a lot of mental sick people here I guess and nobody cares… my mom is hard, she says that there is no schizophrenic who feels fine ever… this makes me angry… she says that she has no more nerves with me,yeah… sometimes I am tired to struggle and to go outside, really. ive done it in the past ,maybe I was better ok but I was always so alone…
Sounds she has some experience with it? Have you asked her about it?
she says that she hasn’t a clue what was a schizophrenia before that me and my father got ill. my father got ill in his 50-s and he died from it… I am from a mixed mariage and my mother is Russian and she always keeps saying that her family is really ‘‘clean’’ from mental illness. for her, all this is an bad heritage from my father… otherwise, she juste sees some of my ill friends who are not ok sometimes but I think they are better than me…
sounds like your mom needs her own therapy sessions. sounds like she is angry at your father for dying and leaving. Take that into account when she gets that way towards you. Anger hides hurt. Maybe you look a lot your father and with you having the same illness it is all just a big reminder of the pain she felt with your father and not really anger towards you. Where they still together when he passed?
yes, they were always together. but he was beating her when he was alive and she says that she never loved him, that his aggression killed every good feeling for him. she was in love with an another lover who was married to another woman…
Sounds like you need to try some anger management or change your medication if it’s a side effect. Rebellion can be good it can get things out of your system but it can also be the worst thing you do if you go too far. When I was most depressed I hated everyone too I thought they were all awful people but I never wanted to hurt them - I thought they wanted to hurt me. I think it takes time and loving yourself till you can love other people. A while ago I decided to love myself and what came with it was me loving everyone else! Now I always try to see the best in people. Could you have a sit down with your mother and go through how you’re feeling and why you can’t be more active? A problem shared is a problem halved!
I told her that I am afraid of people. afraid of their judgement. I am so angry, I even have thoughts of hitting someone but I never do it in fact. I just hide myself at my house. maybe 10 mg of Zyprexa is a bit much for me. I have more energy when I am on it but I am too angry right now and quite anguished about the future. did you ever heard of a sedative ap who makes the person more angry? otherwise, I tried all the possibles aps, all the others were worse than Zyprexa. maybe its question of time and some efforts by baby steps(I say baby steps cause its everything that I can do). but lets be honest, someone who is trying to be sane again after 15 years of desperation it has its consequences isn’t it? I hate, I envy, I am paranoid, I cant think well etc…my brain was inactive for too long. now, it doesn’t produces real and intelligent thoughts anymore… is it normal for the schizophrenia thing? ill try ti stick with my recovery but I am afraid it will take too much efforts and time… I am already 34 years old and Ive lost and betrayed everything 
.
It’s never too late to recover. It sounds like it’s your autism that is making you angry, not the antipsychotics. What did your mother say when you said that to her? Was she understanding? Baby steps are still steps, don’t diminish them! A baby step for someone else can be a huge step for you! Getting dressed, leaving the house, normal things for normal people are huge accomplishments for you!! Be proud of yourself even for the baby steps. It is completely normal for someone with mental illness not to be able to have intelligent thoughts, don’t worry about it. When you recover your mind will eventually go back to normal, it might take some time but you won’t be like this forever if you get the right help. Please try your best to recover, so many people care about you including me!
she was comprehensive in fact. she is a little bit pessimistic about my recovery but this is her personality like she likes to say. ok, yes, ill make my baby steps. its not even a question of stopping my meds, 4 months ago I tried it with all my motivation to struggle against my illness and I couldn’t even leave my bed at the end . thanks, ill try ti love myself more and the others too. I should learn to be more respectful etc etc… keep fighting all of you here, me too I come from far away…
There are disability pets one can get in some places.
Dogs anyway.
That are trained to cater for the individual problem and act as support.
I had extreme apathy deep depression as child for some time.
As adult I had a period of hearing voices etc and I did not want to go out but just stayed in apartment all time.
Could barely do the shopping.
Actually used to get someone else to do it for me.
I was given my dog as a gift to help me get out and leave apartment.
This because in apartment and this countries laws a dog needs 3 walks a day.
That is 3 times a day one is forced to go out a little.
The dog needs feeding and so forth and can give great affection, company and love.
If you are required to do some form of work maybe you can do work where your dog can be included in the activity and even assist you.
I was in bad shape for years n got better.
than was anyway 
I had few years of hearing horocious words and voices and thoughts etc but it went away and did get better.
I even got of medication and was off medicine for 7 years approx and managed to hold down job and study and sleep during this time period.
approx 2 years ago I was hospitalised again.
So back on medication since then.
I have met a few people who could be afraid of people or do not feel comfortable with them or around them.
Maybe I can be a touch like this at times also.
Going out doors can actually feel overwhelming and like a huuuge deal.
Maybe some form of exercise can make you feel happier and not so depressed.
It can possibly help with anger also .
Do you laugh some times?
Some people actually laugh but it can not be seen.
“poker face” some might call it.
They laugh “inwardly” but on the outside body no smile nor laughter can be seen.
Do you share humour with some people?
Maybe that could bring even your physical body to smile.
Could you try acupuncture and massage although this is expensive.
I eat a spoon of linseed with warm water to start the day.
My aunty used to give it to her children. conciderate .
It protects spiritually someone said but yeah it does well for the stomach, digestion…
Lots of people do yoga and breathing exercises.
This does not seem to ease me sometimes but it works for some.
Can you get a care worker to help your mother out?
Your mum might like some support aswell.
Maybe if you talk to your doctor about these things they can help you with a plan.