I can’t be with somebody either, you know? Being with somebody stresses me out. I’ve been through the same and now I never want a bf again. Communicating with somebody takes up way too much energy and I say no thanks.
When I reached this state, I felt better and that everything was alright. I finally freed myself from the stress of feeling unloved/finding someone.
I’m sorry @ginalove2. I know.
Anna, have you tried Geodon? It works well for me. It controls my symptoms without turning me into a zombie.
I’ve found that as I got older I have become more self sufficient. I don’t need other people as much as I used to. That isn’t to say I don’t need them at all, though. At the assisted living center where I live there are interesting women I can flirt with. I’m careful about getting into relationships, though. My goals in life don’t really include a long term partner. I might end up very lonely because of that, but that is the way things are for me now.
You never bother me Anna I mean that.
You have good awareness of your illness, when many of us have poor insight. I didn’t even know my mind was racing and full of thoughts until a therapist suggested it to me.
You are beautiful on the inside, you have a very good heart, and that matters a lot.
You have a loving mother, I know she isn’t perfect and you compare her to your friends’ mothers, but she is a lot better than my mother.
You are very smart too, and have wisdom.
Those are some of the positives you have…
I like you Anna and can relate to so much of what you often saying.
@Anna1 Hmmm… I don’t know… I guess I take a different approach towards it. I NEVER see it as being ALONE! I see it as BEING BY MYSELF. Even the world “Alone” sounds lonely! But “Being by myself” I have always seen differently for some reason.
I am 41, never married, no kids, reasonably attractive, and only been in 2 committed relationships that total 3 yrs of time combined. I have dated over the years but I’ve learned to embrace independence because I realized I don’t need someone else to be happy as long as I am HAPPY WITH MYSELF.
The key is to focus our mental energy on beneficial things… not the things that bring us down. I started looking at everything I wanted to change or improve about myself as an opportunity. Even when I was diagnosed with SZ a few years back, I tried to find a benefit in it. I decided I was going to research and study it as I found myself fascinated by it anyway. Believe me… I have a LOT of bad days. But considering I was a counselor by profession and the mind and behavior was my life anyway, why not turn my SZ into a positive?
We have to learn to “embrace our flaws” and redirect our energy in positives… like who “we want to be” instead of everything we “hate” or is “wrong” with us! That in itself can bring us down. Instead, look at it as something you’d simply like to “change” or “improve” about yourself. Even by replacing the terms “hate/wrong” with “change/improve” puts a positive spin on it. Don’t worry about whether we ever attain who we want to be or not. But taking baby steps towards it is PROGRESS and at least gives me some sense of accomplishment.
LEARN TO LOVE “YOU”… and all other things will come in time! Hugs💋
How does one turn SZ into a positive, if I might ask?
This is a nice quote!
Well… for me it was easy because I’ve been studying the mind and behavior since 2004. So when I got diagnosed I decided I wasn’t going to allow myself to invest all my mental energy towards my condition and symptoms. The only way I could do it was to find at least one positive to it to focus on and put my energy towards, otherwise I may allow the negatives to ‘eat me alive’ so-to-speak. So…“why not study it” I figured! Even one positive can bring some light to a room of darkness.
I have sza and it made me a more empathetic person to others who have suffered major life setbacks of any sort. I am also more considerate of people with visible and invisible disabilities. It also has made me want to show “the man” that I can live a normal life even with sza.
Being in a relationship has its pitfalls. My bf and I have been together 9 months as of today and already he wants to know how my meds/illness would affect a pregnancy. I said, “Whoa! How about getting around to saying ‘I love you’ and ‘Let’s get married’ first?” Ever since that conversation, I have had heart palpitations when I talk to him about anything at all. Being single can be lonely but at least you don’t have to worry about being pregnant/being a mother (assuming you don’t have children already.)
I should have said “the vast majority of severely mentally ill”
@Anna1 I was thinking about your quote above. I wanted to make sure you know that just because a man didn’t tell you he loved you, doesn’t mean he didn’t. I was with a man for 5yrs (non-committed) and he never once told me he loved me, but he did. He just couldn’t say the words, and he admitted that to me. Then my last committed relationship lasted 2 yrs, he couldn’t say it either. Although, I’m not exactly sure if he did or not, but he did tell me at the very beginning he was incapable of communicating his emotions.
So just don’t bring yourself down by thinking no man has ever loved you. It’s probably not true. Sure, some can communicate it, but a good portion of them can’t. 
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