I am wondering because my therapist told me that I have a low self esteem and I told him that it is difficult for a sz male to get a girlfriend if he is 29 years old and still lives with his mother and has only a part time job. I had a girlfriend before I got sick when I was studying in a university and while I was working and had a good paying job. Now that I got sick and have no money, live with mom, I feel that no girl would want to be with me. I don’t even want to ask anyone on a date because I think I will get rejected afterwards. Any schizo males over here who have girlfriends?
Funny Topic Question to Ask … ,
e(Y)e Jus Asked a Beautiful Woman to Be My Girlfriend … ,
We’ll See How it Goes … … …
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I’m a 31 year old woman with SZ. I live with my mom. I hope to have a family someday. I think you have to just keep trying and changing up your game. We have to adapt to this SZ thing to survive and reproduce. It is hard, but it is hard for women too. I don’t have a boyfriend right now, someday I will though.
I’d say it’s a 9 out of 10 degree of difficulty. Frankly it’s a jungle out there.
However if you meet a soulmate, all bets are off and it might just work.
I was 29, with Sz, living with my parents… and found a girlfriend.
But I had a good enough job to buy a car and keep it on the road.
What do you mean by it being a " jungle " out there?
It depends upon the severity of your illness really. Obviously a guy who fully recovers after one episode can probably have an easy time finding a girlfriend. I agree it’s nearly impossible without a job, car, money, or a place of your own. Actually in the lowest stratus of society guys can find girlfriends. You just have to have the nerve to go into it knowing that any kids you have will likely have what is often considered a difficult time growing up. You may also have trouble sustaining a relationship. In fact children may be all the woman wants from you so the safety net will support her and then she’ll find nothing more to do with you. On a more hopeful note I did once ask a worker at a Psych Ward if she ever heard of a 30 years or longer Medicaid marriage. To my surprise she had. Don’t ask me how they do it because I don’t know. I guess some people will settle for less in order to have companionship. It’s mystifying to me because I came from a middle class home with certain expectations put on me. I think also if you can handle it you need to look beyond the women that would grace the cover of Maxim and accept their limitations of other women just like you hope they accept yours. All in all I can’t really answer your question because I have not succeeded in that regard. But those are my observations on the subject and i often wonder if the women who did come on to me in the past would have still gone along with things when I explained what my life amounted to which I also was afraid to do.
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Take confidence with women as efficency of knowing what to do through experience (not referring sexual) so if your not good with women (forgive me for any moral rejection) is to start “low” . Kind of like learning the chords of a instrument before you can be a Beethoven. Or being a lion going for the weak in the herd to gain experience of the hunt.
Hi Blizzard, how are you doing? I just have some friendly advice for you about your writing that had to be pointed out to me by another member here about my own writing. When you write paragraphs, put some spaces in. Don’t put solid blocks of texts in your answers.
It’s hard to read when it’s just one solid block of words. More people will read them if you break it into 3 or 4 small mini-paragraphs. Many people don’t like reading a block of words and some people just skip reading posts that are one solid bunch of words.
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I guess I don’t have a very clear idea of what I meant. I think it means that people are often judged and snared in the way you imply … by competitive and external standards, such as wealth, status, appearance, confidence, etc. In other words, nothing very personal ever comes to the fore.
Anythings possible just keep working on yourself
I started watching porn at an early age and never stopped. a gf doesn’t seem realistic. I need on demand feelings that’s not on a schedule
I met a girl but she’s not my girlfriend…yet. She says she wants to go on a date with me.
Like others have said, it’s not really about what you can get. It’s about what you can offer. If you don’t feel like you deserve a girlfriend right now, work on different areas of your life. You might not be able to work full time or live independently, but maybe you can learn how to dance, or play an instrument. Work on being an amazing friend to the people in your life. Get to a place where you’re happy with how your life is going. Once you’re at that point, it will be easier to find someone who wants to share that life with you. Girls are attracted to happiness and inner peace.
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Maybe these difficulties are linked to internalized social defeat that is a models and hypothesis of SZ cause. It could be both part of the causes & one of the consequences
I think it’s easier for an sz woman to get a boyfriend.
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Correction: It is easier for an sz woman to find someone who wants to have sex with them. There aren’t many guys who want to take on all our problems in a relationship, though.
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Love usually finds you when you’re not looking for it.
I have this at hand often hoping it will sink in for me.
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I was so embarrassed with having Schizophrenia that I never asked any girls out on a date and actually never tried to talk to them. I had always wanted a big house with a beautiful wife and kids. Never got to that. However, I still say there is someone out there for each person. I finally found mine at age 50 and she was 52, both of us never have being married. It is going on 9 years now.
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I was asked by my therapist yesterday as to when I am going to start dating again. I’ve tried all the dating apps and still no go. Maybe someday I will. I’ve basically given up for now. Too much energy and disappointment at this point in my life to deal with. I’m not giving up though!