And I’m so torn apart inside. I wish I could kill myself. I can’t cope with all this ■■■■ in my life! I can’t ■■■■■■■ cope with hurting him! Either I hurt him or I take a big chance and hope the cycle doesn’t repeat itself.
He made so many promises and spoke so nice to me, said he loves me so much and misses me so much and that he doesn’t know what to do without me.
Because I love him too it’s ripping me apart inside. Why do I have to go through such hell?? I wish I could escape from this all. I wish I could ■■■■■■■ KILL MYSELF!!! I can’t ■■■■■■■ COPE ANYMORE!!! but I’m such a coward I’d probably not do it. I wish I could. Because I’m so ■■■■■■■ torn apart.
If my husband wanted a divorce too it’d be so much easier. But now he’s begging me to the point of almost crying and my heart goes out to him. I don’t know what to do anymore!!!
When a woman showed interest in me in the past I felt like society, and my lust was putting a gun to my head and saying “Do something about it.” Yet every time I would evaluate the situation and find there was nothing I could do without involving significant risk or danger. In my case it was the fact I would be dependent on her almost 100% or the risks involved with pregnancy. I’ve seen plenty of guys impregnate women and have it end in breakup soon afterwards over money. Yet at the same time I wanted to give her what she wanted and was tired of being lonely. Right now with the pandemic raging I don’t feel those thoughts. Do you feel such feelings? Do you feel you “have” to do it? Is it the right thing to do to break up but you fear what will happen if you don’t? Is what would happen terrible? Is it worse to come back? Do what’s best for you. And for God sakes don’t end your life over it. Any pain can heal.
“Think of others before you think of yourself, put others needs before your own”
This is what my husband wrote to me in a text. What I’d like to know is - is it true? Must we put others before ourselves?
Because from what I’ve heard and understood is that we need to take care of ourselves first because if we don’t do that then we have nothing to give others.
So who’d right here? Must I think of others first or take care of myself first? Am I being selfish for putting myself first. Or uncharitable?
Your husband is lucky that you care. The fact that you have torn emotions means that you care and it shows that you are a empathic person. It is a good trait to have. Don’t feel that because you care you are guilty though. It just means that you are a good human being.
It is true that we should always think of others, but it comes to a point where you have to take care of yourself, almost like a battery on a cell phone. If your battery is low, you have little to give, and then you need to put yourself first and care for yourself. I don’t think it is right of your husband to try and make you feel guilty. I mean…the same applies to him in that case. He should respect you and give you what you need. Which is time alone at this point.
I hope the situation calms down and you get time to heal. Don’t feel guilty because you care.
If the relationship is ever abusive, no matter what, you have to leave. And you shouldn’t feel guilty over it. Abuse only gets worse with time. It never gets better.
That is so hard. I’m sorry. The truth is, neither of you really did anything wrong. But he isn’t safe for you to be around. He is unable to control himself when he has an episode. Your life was in danger. He needs to learn how to manage his illness before he can be a reliable partner. He should be the one thinking of others before himself. He should value your safety more than his own desire for companionship.
If you really love him, I wouldn’t throw your marriage away so quickly. It’s awful to be alone, especially if there’s someone you love. You never know if you’ll find love again.
I really love him but I have felt my marriage was so suffocating. I couldn’t be completely myself. I had to follow his preferences and deal with his difficult family. I had to do everything for him, chauffeur him, nurse him, cook and clean and shop. He did nothing except earn the money by getting tenants for his places. He sat at home all day smoking and demanding my company. I had no chance to do anything productive because I was so weary of looking after him. We argued constantly. We abused each other verbally. We are both mentally unstable.
So how can I live with him even if I love him? You can still love a man you divorce. My sister is divorced twice to the same man and said she still loves him even though he was abusive. But she remained friends with him and they have better relationship that way.
I don’t plan to marry again. It wouldn’t be fair on a man to cope with my sza and borderline personality. Plus I hate sex. And I don’t want children or to look after another man’s kids. I prefer my freedom. I won’t be alone - I have a sister and two brothers and four nieces and a nephew
I think you should be true to yourself and put yourself first.
Be who you are and who you want to be.
Wear your pixie hair cut and hijab the way you like that he doesn’t like.
Maybe buy yourself a hippie Muslim dress that you adore but he wouldn’t let you wear.
Maybe you can be friends but not married.
Be firm yet kind .
People can take rejection badly and it can make them cruel so be careful, firm , decisive and kind.
I left the person I love most to be true to myself.
I left to go on a vegan diet and because I couldn’t stand glue traps killing mice in cruel ways and to give my horse a better paddock.
He wouldn’t let me go on a vegan diet because he thought it would make me sick.
No one is to tell me what I can’t do not even my favourite man.
I miss him and love him every day but I am true to myself and wanting to be myself and the person I want to be and no one should interfere with that.
It was perfect living with him and the dogs in perfect home but he doesn’t believe in climate change and is right winged and doesn’t want gun laws etc and I am a environment activist wanna be and animal rights activist wanna be.
Im sorry you are going through this. You should do what is true to you. But if you did stay with him you would need to go to a couples counselor. Heck, maybe one can help you break up and make this less painful.
in cruel ways and to give my horse a better paddock.