She lost it all last night…seven hundred dollars…in four hours…she swore off gambling and told me any money she gets in the future she is giving to me to hold for her…yayyyy…
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I really hope she follows through
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Good of you to be supportive, I’ve seen gambling destroy people and families, you both will make it through this.
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She may need other help besides that. I mean having her money for her is a good thing but if she’s had this gambling problem for awhile and it’s an actual addiction then the problem will probably not go away so easily and instantly and drastic measures may be needed.
Heck, I was a broke, disabled, poor, unemployed drug addict on SSDI. I still always found a way to somehow get my drugs. If you are addicted to something like drugs, or food or gambling you are going to find a way to feed your addiction.
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Hmm. . .
I Personally Never Took Gambling In Any Way Seriously. Was Always Confused About Such Addiction. Although I Smoke. SoO0…, What Does That Say. Ya’know. Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged.
As Advice, Dear Sky, Me With Advice. Endless Planets Help Us All.
I Would Say, Speak With Her. Open Up A Day. An Entire Day. Jus You And Her, Sit Down And Talk.
Seek For Root Problems. No Fault, No Blame. It’s A More Serious Issue Than Looking For Some Sort Of Scapegoat. Doesn’t Solve Anything Anyways. Discover What The Root Of The Problem Is, Dig It Out Of The Shadows. Confront It Patiently. And Talk.
Once You Have Settled From The Dust. Begin Again. Hit A Psychological Reset Button. Start Over. Teach Patience. Learn Patience. Be On Her Side. Fight Thus Battle With Her.
Don’t Make Her Feel Like Some Sort Of Freak. Because The Numbers With The Entire Subject Of Some Sort Of Addiction Is Very High. In Fact, In All Reality, Everyone Owns A Slight Bit Of Addiction To Something. Less Is More. And Patience Is A Virtue. Or So They Say.
~P.s. Hope, Trust, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Endlessly Eternal Peace!.~ 
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It’s awesome she recognizes that there is an issue, but I would strongly recommend her talking to a program such as gambler’s anonymous. It’s so cool youre being supportive, but this could very easily lead to strife if you are in charge of her money. Im not saying don’t do, Im just saying be aware of the potential for conflict.
All Im recommending is talking to her about recovery options if she feel she can’t control it. Good luck to both of you.
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This is a pretty big sign of trust.
Be good to eachother, don’t abuse it in a moment of weakness.
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she has since sworn off gambling and I believe her…I own our car so I always have the keys…I left the keys on the table so she snuck out…just easy to solve…don’t let her have the keys when she has money plus we are buying a lock box to put her money in and I will keep the key…
I’m glad she has the willpower to approach you with a suggestion like that.
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Be sure and support her in this decision. Give her a lot of affirmation.
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oh we have really been closer since she came out of her cloud of gambling…feels great to be able to talk sanely about it…
Hmm. . .
I Suppose My Words Fell On Deaf Ears.
N e Hoo.
Perhaps There’s At Least One Person Lurking With The Same Familiar Trouble Upon Hand.
~P.s. Hope, Trust, True Love, Honesty, Joy, And Endlessly Eternal Peace!.~
Of course she has. And the chances are high that she means it. But actions speak louder than words and an addict will make vow after vow, to get someone off their back or to reassure those around them they are sincere. It’s their actions that will matter in the future.
I’m not saying she’s a bad person or has bad character but addiction, by it’s very nature is often too much for a person to handle. With true addiction, often, will power is not enough to overcome it.
A 12-step program may be the answer. It would be good support and teach a person about the nature of their problems.
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I don’t think she would do it @77nick77 she knows how serious it is and has read books on recovery…we think she’s incurable…she just needs me to help her and I believe this last gambling taught her a very deep lesson.
My dad used to say, “Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst.”
Many so called “hopeless” alcoholics found recovery in AA. I’ve personally heard hundreds of stories of so called “incurable” alcoholics who drank for 5, 10, 15+ years and were bums living on the streets sleeping on park benches in puddles of their own urine. They somehow found AA and were enjoying ten or 15 years of sobriety. Or addicts who spent years in prison due to drug use and got out and decided to turn their lives around and found recovery in CA or NA.
Many “hopeless” addicts and alcoholics found sobriety in AA. I’ve never been in a 12-step program for anything besides quitting drugs and alcohol. But I would imagine that most 12-step programs work the same way and are as effective for conquering food or gambling or whatever, as AA is effective for conquering alcoholism.
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I’d like to tell you some members are in the same boat as you with there gal’s its a battle ever month. Iam not given names but I my self have hurt my own feeling with the evil money you have to trade it for something they can do to make a buck so that they learn not to gamble sorry for your loss but don’t hold the money it make a gal none trusting I very learned . Take care love you dude zen
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My grandmother lost $90,000 in one year. You might win a few times at a casino but they’ll get you in the long run.
Giving all your money to someone else to hold on to is a gamble itself
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It sounds like she’s pushing the responsibility of her gambling onto you. You should be able to leave car keys and money unattended without her running off to gamble.
She’s responsible for her actions, not you.
No addiction is incurable. Saying she’s incurable is another way to deny responsibility for her actions.
The best you can do for her is push her to join a program or get therapy.
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She lost all the stimulus money gambling?
I’d be furious.
You put yours away so you’d be able to live for three months and she loses hers in a night?
I see you are trying to get past this and forgive her,
But I wouldn’t trust those words.
That was a huge breach of trust.
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