My head is up my ass to be frank
Don’t think psychology did me any good on Wednesday. I’ve been back at the gambling (my bad coping mechanism) hearing voices and more nightmares than usual.
I’m struggling. My youngest had a drs appointment 2 days ago and I had a panic attack in the drs office because voices were telling me there was a terrorist in the waiting room.
God. Not good at all. I may have to cancel psychology I think.
Hey. I’m in a bad mood today. I stayed home from church.
You should do your best to quit the gambling again.
Do you think all this happened because of the psychology appointment?
Yeah it’s just set me off. Memories etc I have not gambled in a very long time up until now.
That’s a pity.
I suppose you have 2 choices. You can cancel the psychology appointments or you can go and tell them what happened.
I’m sorry you had such a setback.
Ty. I will think about it.
oh gambling is a tough addiction…my wife is a recovered gambling addict. She just stopped going and plays bingo on facebook now.
When I’m in therapy, we don’t discuss my past. We discuss the issues I’m having right now and talk about ways to cope. Might that approach help you more?
We all turn to addictions while going through stress. You need to find a healthy stress reliever that isn’t self destructive if that makes sense. You are in a cycle of gambling which causes you stress and then you gamble to relieve that stress.
I get it. I’m a food addict. When I was stressed I used to eat a lot. Therapy, mindfulness and distracting myself with healthy activities did help. I know you are going through enormous stress and being a mother doesn’t help. Hugs and I hope you feel better. 
I hope you start feeling better @Qwerty
Yeah maybe quit the psychology sessions if they are going to trigger you
They legalized gambling in Virginia while I was away two years in Cali and I hate it. I came back to half of all commercials being sports book ads. Thank god I’m not susceptible to gambling, I have very little disposable income. Life was easier and less intrusive when it was illegal. What’s next, billboards and casinos?
Hope you feel better soon @Qwerty . You really succeeded in starting a family that you can be proud of, I know it’s hard with the challenges the disease brings but you got farther than a lot of us and that’s an impressive thing.
Thank you guys.
I really appreciate your kind replies.
I’m sleep deprived at the moment. But today I’m feeling more in control of the problem.
I will talk to the psychologist on Wednesday about how my week has gone.
The scary thing is. I apparently gambled last night and I have no recollection of doing it. I checked my bank this morning and £20 was gone. I was like what ? How ? So I logged in my bet fair account and there was £67 in it which I withdrew immediately and I’m going to put a stop to the gambling again.
I don’t know what’s going on with me.
This sounds like a lot to go through. Good luck with stopping the gambling. I hope you can do it.
Im tempted to call my mental health team today. But I don’t know where to start with the conversation. It doesn’t help that my key worker is semi retired so is only working on Wednesday and Thursday.
Could you have gambled in your sleep? I have done things in my sleep that I don’t recall the next day.
If you call the mental health team, just start from the beginning. Explain what’s happened so far and then tell about your thoughts and emotions.
Hopefully they can help you
Just call and say “Hey I’m having a really rough time atm. I need some help and someone to talk to.” They will get you what you need.
Ty. @sweetpotatopie i don’t really like ringing them. I will see how I go on tonight sleep wise. If it’s a bad night I will ring them in the morning. I’ve barely slept in a few nights. Partly because of my own fault gambling and partly paranoia. I think I probably just need a good rest.
Oh yeah it’s amazing how much the body suffers in every way when you are sleep deprived. I think it’s okay to take a quick nap when you can to catch up. Or at the very least just shut your eyes in the quiet and practice deep slow breathing and calm your mind when you can.
There must be one gigantic ass in this universe because mine is in there as well. Some day’s I don’t know why I bother to leave the house and let me mention, this is not often.
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