I still think about aliens and stuff and how I had a traumatic experience(s) but probably unknowingly and incorrectly assumed stuff happened to me, which probably didn’t or I don’t remember anymore and I cannot do anything about it, so why obsess?
I feel like it could have been aliens of some type, which I had experiences before. I don’t know. Stuff I experienced seemed impossible (probably) now. Most likely, I had an alien abduction or negative time travel experience. I feel like I’m going to different dimensions and crap and parallel universes all the time, but it seems like past lives (reincarnation) especially before 2011. I sometimes think 2011-2012 didn’t exist like we live in a computer simulation of reality, which ended or got destroyed and then rebooted or updated to a new reality/edition/software modification/update…think Mayan Prophecies…
I think it’s dumb and embarrassing I thought I was different people and reincarnated and crap a million or so times back and forwards through time and been to other realities and computer simulations. I think it’s aliens or possibly even alien AI (artificial intelligence).
I’m not immortal, but it feels like I witnessed and experienced the singularity in one of my past lives, and we live in the matrix or something like a simulation of humanity (Nick Bostrom). For some reason, I feel trapped, like in an infinite causal loop, time loop, but I felt like I escaped this timeline before, and been to places like hell or worse than biblical hell, really, and actually…multiple times…man…
I had my brain or DNA modified and experienced the singularity in a past life and went time traveling too many times and reincarnated it feels and seems like…
My life begins around 2011-2012 and 2013 at the latest, like I got paused, saved, edited, or even cloned…
I remember my ‘past lives’ or different incarnations that are too many to measure and count but could be between the thousands up to it feels like but unlikely trillions of past loops, past lives, or past iterations, in the computer simulation (among different versions) of humanity.
I think life before 2011 didn’t exist really. Like think the movie the matrix and the machines came back in 2011 but it wasn’t really machines or something. I don’t remember, but it felt like ‘something changed’ a traumatic pot smoking experience in a terrible environment around 2011 but then again I keep repeating my life over and over again which I cannot change.
Schizophrenia ruins everything because my reality is unstable, and my memory is not good or intact. I feel like reality testing is messed up and so I’m not a reliable person or have a good autobiographical memory anymore and I couldn’t write a real biography for myself.
I feel like I have trauma and stuff especially in other realities. I feel like I’ve been to 2022 and 2023 and stuff but don’t remember a future after that. Maybe I died and ‘looped’ back in time. I drink too much caffeine, and probably need a covid-19 vaccine to be honest.
The only good thing in my life is my ‘religion’ or faith.
I think I had delusions I invented time travel or was a time traveler in a past life, but I don’t know. It happened so long ago, but now it’s all soul based now, it feels like. No physical device anymore. (It’s all in my head).
That, and, I thought I invented Bitcoin in another life or simulation/planet/universe/“clone”, but there’s no evidence or proof and there’s a sliver of belief in me that I did, but I’m glad it’s not real.
There’s probably some other stuff like being ‘used’ or ‘tested’ or something by aliens to work on UFOs in a distant past life/parallel universe and crap, but I don’t know.
Like I said, my memory is messed up and I have trauma like aliens, ai, or even Illuminati type crap that seems impossible now that I’m stable or more stable and taking lamictal and vraylar and cymbalta. I probably wouldn’t have these thoughts if it weren’t caffeine.
I feel sort of ‘insane’ but it might be a defense mechanism or something like that. I don’t know. I thought I experienced a trauma in college, but probably didn’t. I really have no motive or purpose except serving God, really, and being a decent person in this life again.
I really think the planet got destroyed in 2010-2011 really and we live in the matrix or something, but I might be off or not correct or from the future. Like in my dreams, it says, I’m an alien and I’m from 2036 - lol.
I sometimes think it could all happen again if we go down the same path again, like NWO, or something, but I sincerely believe now that it’s the Book of Revelation now.
I worry about Bitcoin taking over the dollar; I worry about the environment now despite being skeptical about global warming; I worry about End Times and Socialism and the USA becoming poor and weaker – not like how I envisioned things and grew up and wanted to live life.
I worry that Bitcoin will be outlawed/banned/destroyed (most likely/potentially); I hope green energy and more energy things get invented; and I hope it gets regulated or even used more and legitimately and used properly, etc. I think the current thing is it can only be destroyed if the internet is shut off (even temporarily); some type of event; or quantum computers come out; or NP=P (aliens, probably).
I think bitcoin was designed for strength; resiliency; and security/endurance. I don’t know who invented it (maybe aliens?) (maybe I’m just fantasy prone lol). I don’t think anyone could have predicted it really or seen it like this or even want it in my frame of mind and hindsight. Maybe it’s a good thing, but I also worry that it could be used for sinister things like even the mark of the beast and crap…
Thank you. That’s all I have to think and say today. Schizophrenia and memories mostly feels like trauma and torture. Maybe nothing happened to me, or I’m misremembering things and remembering different lives or some quantum memory type stuff from another reality. So far, everything as been in my head. (Been stuck there for years, really). (Got out recently in my head lol).