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My brother apologized to me

My brother texted me at first to apologize for his awful behavior against me - I did not get his message because I blocked his number on my phone. He later called up and apologized in his own aggressive way (at least he knew he was wrong) I told him that I am going through some rough patches with this med change, but that my doctor wants me to stick it out. He was his critical, arrogant self - but I think that he knew he was wrong that day on Fathers day when I came over to his house. I think that my brother noticed some changes in me and whenever he sees me acting a bit off, he goes into panic mode and thinks that I will be this way for life. In the past I was not well and was a bit delusional and I was against his wife, my sister in law. I think that he is deathly afraid that I will be this person again. I told him that I am doing better and should not return to the old me.
My brother has a lot on his plate too - he suffers from depression, anxiety and has a son (my nephew) who shows signs of a serious mental illness - I know that my nephew has mild autism, depression and ADHD already.
Well we kind of patched things up on the phone and for now he is off my ■■■■ list - I hate fraternal conflicts

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That sounds like he cares about your welfare.
It’s good to have as many people as you can who are on your side.

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Good to hear you patched things up a bit with him.
You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your family, no matter how much you want them to be different, sometimes you just have to love them warts and all.

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I’m glad he called, made the first move and apologized. Congratulations on starting to patch this up. It just never seems easy between brothers. I remember a post where you mentioned being cautiously optimistic. Very good idea.

I feel like I’m in the same boat with you on this one. I’ve been working to let my family know that who I was in the past is not coming back. For a while I had one brother who would reach out a bit, and then retreat when I was not doing so well. That really began to make me think that he was a fair weather friend only. But as we have both healed and grown up and we both had to learn to trust each other… it’s not all sunshine and roses, but it’s much better then it was. I consider him a friend now. We’re still a bit cautious with each other… but we’ll grow more and time will fade other scars.

Even if I slip into relapse, it will be different because I’m a different person now anyway. I think my family is really starting to see that.

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I’m glad your brother did the right thing and hopefully this will put you on a path to a better relationship.

The old saying is true that you can choose your friends but not your relatives. Your brother sounds a bit like my husband’s older brother Jimmy. Jimmy has always been insensitive, arrogant and mean spirited, and it’s getting worse the older he gets. My husband has finally quit doing much of anything with his brother (they used to play golf a lot and would hang out occasionally). Jimmy has become so toxic, hubs had decided that it’s just not worth it.

Family relationships can sure be a pain in the butt at times:)

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I don’t think there is going to be a close relationship here. He caters to his wife and he does nothing without her permission - she controls him and he tries to control me. I will answer his texts and calls, and I will be very brief and distant but polite. It is very apparent that he does not want a real fraternal relationship - he wants to unload his anger and toxic behavior onto me. I will not give him the satisfaction of displaying anger in any way, he is looking for excuses to hate me even more. I have come to the realization that he is toxic and he lives in a toxic atmosphere - I am washing my hands clean of this. I will communicate to him only when contacted by him, but I am through with trying to get close to him, he obviously does not want this

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I don’t blame you at all for not letting your brother unload his bitterness! If it’s allowed, toxic people will suck all the positivity right out of you. You tried your best:)

Thank you @lovemyson I appreciate it :smiley:

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