I can no longer face my brother

DX'd - Other
1

No wonder why he has hatred and resentment towards me all these years.

It’s all coming back to me like a flood!

I bullied and teased my younger brother from 7 years old to when he was 17 years old!

This is all throughout his childhood!

I’ve apologized to him numerous times but I don’t know if he can ever forgive me.

He acknowledges that I wasn’t well mentally and he forgives me but I don’t believe him.

I don’t know if I can ever face him again.

I love him but have ruined his childhood.

I am a ■■■■■■■ monster.

What have I done.

2

Well you did the right thing in apologising at least.
I think this might be worth speaking to a councillor about if its at all possible.

Also remember kids are dumb. Some people get caught up in toxic behaviour especially when it goes unchallenged and they don’t have the awareness that it is wrong. At least as an adult you have found that awareness and tried to make amends.
Nothing you can really do now. You could maybe ask if there’s anything you do for him and just be open to give assistance?

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3

Nobody is perfect…just don’t be too hard on yourself. I know it must be hard, to get over it. You can forgive yourself.

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4

Maybe you’re exaggerating what happened in your mind?

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5

Yeah thanks @StarCrazy and @Jake
I’m going to bring it up to my therapist right away.

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6

Maybe a little bit but not the teasing part.
My brother doesn’t think so.

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7

I teased him so bad one day that he put his hand through the closed widow and was rushed to the ER and had to have major surgery.

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8

I remember that day vividly.
But I must admit that a lot of the interactions between us is a bit blurry.

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9

Now I understand why he is a bit of a bully towards me in adulthood.

10

I have to say, relationships between siblings can vary a lot. Some people have close friendly relationships. Some people kind of put up with each other, but don’t really like each other. Other times like with me, we don’t talk at all and if we do it’s normally for negative causes.

I just hope you aren’t painting yourself is some evil villain because you used to tease your younger sibling a bit. As I say, children are idiots. They literally don’t have the ability to know what they are doing is wrong.

I think just be there for him now if you can is the best thing to do moving forward. But don’t beat yourself up for things that are long in the past now.

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11

Well no matter what happened between you two he is still your brother

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12

I was often very mean with my younger brother.

It appears we have both moved on.

We don’t talk about it. Neither of us bring it up.

-Albert.

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13

Are you certain this is not paranoia?

Believing it is more likely to make it come true. Forgiveness is only the first step to repair. If you can’t accept the forgiveness, then you’re denying the next steps from happening. You’re preventing repair.

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14

This is what he said to me earlier.

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15

I think it’s a bit of paranoia, yes.

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16

I hope I’m not becoming unwell over it.
I’m getting a bit paranoid.

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I could be exaggerating a lot of it @everhopeful
You are right.

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18

I spoke to my brother tonight and he said that I teased him once in while but it wasn’t abuse and it wasn’t all throughout childhood.

You were right @everhopeful in my mind I exaggerated the whole thing!

Phew! … I’m so relieved!

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19

All my anger and bitterness towards my brother evaporated when he started showing sz symptoms himself several months ago.

I’d rather have a healthy one mad at me TBH.

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20

I’m sorry @agent101g

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