I told her tonight that everything she says to me makes me paranoid
I asked her why she was coming Friday and she said to spend time with me but then i had to ask her did she care about me? She never says anything affectionate.
Honestly i am super paranoid around my mum
Ps im also paranoid on this forum
my mum is not that affectionate with me but it doesnt mean she doesnt care, if you are paranoid and still have symptoms then maybe you can ask your p’doc about it, all i can say is that it is a symptom.
Everything she says to me i interpret as malice towards me
Ps she physically abused me at a young age
But i cannot have a healthy relationship with her ever
Mum suggested i speak to dad in future when i ring
that might be a good idea if you have trouble with your mum, are you on good terms with your dad?
I spoke to pdoc on Monday about her but what can he do?
Im on depot injection and he’s put me on prozac tomorrow
My dad has history of mental illness and we get along okay
I will just have to talk to him instead
Thanks for replying and showing an interest. Its always good when somebody takes the effort to reply so thanks 
you’re lucky you have a Dad, My dad died a while ago now 
Yeah if your dad isnt having a good time though it might be best to chat to a helpline or your care time about any issues, thats what i suggest.
Good idea i don’t want to upset him
you know you can always share on here and there are lots of places that you can talk, if you have paranoia though i can see how that can be a hindrance,
If you don’t want to spend time with her, then don’t, until you feel better. Sometimes separating yourself from the person for a time helps. There are some family members of mine who require a lot of energy and positive thinking to be around, so I don’t contact them as often. Just communicate with your dad if that’s what makes you comfortable.
Yes it is a hindering thing.
Thanks i struggle with thoughts etc but i post here when i can
Thanks @anon55031185 yes your right
it is a very brave and courageous thing to post a message when there is paranoia , i remember when i was extremely paranoid a long time ago on this forum and so i can relate with that.
Some relationships are just as they are - you can try to change them to what you want but it takes both parties to make that happen.
Your right and i worry about everything probably extremely. You are very kind
My mum is polar opposite to me, she is very extrovert and induces a lot of paranoia in me. I interpret everything she says as malice and hatred of me.
I dont think i can ever even like her on any level
I don’t know how much of it is the abuse and how much is sz?
I guess I’ll never really understand it
She probably genuinely cares about you and wants to see you. Don’t let your mind play tricks on you. Enjoy your time together
That sounds so complicated - @anon85745701
Adding SZ + abuse + rebuilding a relationship + communication
You won’t know without heavy deep honest conversation about past present and future.
I’m no expert - just observing and commenting on what you are saying.
@LilyoftheValley true - the fact that you even have a relationship - maybe she has guilt and cant communicate affection from the past. But do what protects you and set expectations that are realistic. Can you have a relationship with her without her showing words of affection and trust she cares.
No i have zero percent trust in her
Im just being honest
I care about hubby and dad. My siblings show little interest
Mum wont talk about anything in the past or she brushes it off saying we had no money