It just goes on and on. I wonder how many of these posts I’ll end up making.
It really helps me to type when I’m all alone and the voices are raging. It’s all I can do to prevent letting voices get into my head and ■■■■ with my consciousness. I really think I should try reading but I can’t thinking of or own any books that seem worth it.
Something simple and easy with a decent pace. Other then that I don’t really care.
■■■■… My mind has been raped. For two years. I can sit back and smile at this point because it has no real hold on me, but it absolutely sucks when it’s happening.
These voices just won’t drop it and they keep from thinking of anything else.
My monologue… It’s been years. Same with my passions and fascinations.
This illness will give you a lot to think about, but that’s all old now. It’s pretty much inescapable and unstoppable. Makes the nights so long.
Some times it seems like the voices are fading, other times it’s just layer and layer of noise.
As a curiosity I might add that my stomach talks to me. I can hear words and even converse with it a little bit. I think the sounds are real but the interpretations is in my head. It’s just about as bad as the voices.
■■■■ all.
sometimes if we put so much focus onto our symptoms we can intensify them.
like right now I have random music playing in my head but if i dont pay attention to it i dont notice it as much. right now its a song I’ve heard but i dont know what it is , i cant make out the words.
Dude if only I had the train of thought I used to have it wouldn’t be a big deal. I’d just keep chugging along. I’m useless without something to focus on.
My voices literally just said “we’re trying to ■■■■ you up” in a really distressed tone.
If I focus on these voices it’s just ■■■■■■ and I have no thoughts of my own.
I hate this. I don’t want to die but I hate this.
It’s ■■■■■■■ stupid man.
I’m totally absent minded.
Yeah mine would constantly tell me they were trying to ■■■■ me up, theyd say we just want to gain your trust, then were gonna ■■■■ you up big time.
theyd also offer an open ended “look you can listen to us if you want, we dont really care but its up to you we can help you if you want, but really were just gonna ■■■■ you up at the last minute.”
or theyd even say "shut the ■■■■ up, go away, were discussing something , we dont want you around. were busy. now were going to sleep.
just weird stuff like that all day
or when i was in panic mode cuz they wouldnt leave theyd keep screaming “were never leaving you, its scares you that we wont ever leave doesnt it? yes we will never leave!!!”
I have tried to get them to go to sleep.
It’s ■■■■■■■ making me laugh right now, the sheer stupidity. I just got a voice that seemed to be in my chin.
Maybe there is something to this voice to skull ■■■■.
God ■■■■■■■ damn it this illness sucks.
It’s different when you feel like you deserve it or need it, but i really don’t feel that way any more.
yeah its all ■■■■■■■■.
keep a rigid mindset such as “the voices are your brain and nothing more”
voices can try to convince you of feeling things etc… its complicated but its all non sense. they try to play off of anything they can.
they could try and convince you there speaking from a popcan if they wanted. dont give them that power.
Man ah whatever dude. Hallucinations like that come and go. I keep that in check, it’s these more persistent symptoms that are a pain. I can’t believe the brain doesn’t have the power to stop this ■■■■. It’s totally ducked.
yeah all i can say is that over the course of 4 years mine have diminished significantly in the last 2 years. only had one minor hiccup in the summer. besides that its steadily improved since the first major
so they should improve in time
Only time will tell. It certainly suck for now though.
like i used to have all positive symptoms 2 years ago. rarely any negative symptoms. now its seems to have turned tables.
■■■■ is making me laugh though. This supposed commentary from you guys I’m getting in my mind.
I’m so tired of it.