I have this obsession with murders serial killers through out history. AND NO I DONT WANT TO BE A KILLER!!! It just grabs a hold of my mind and my focus and i lose sight of time. I can resite mostly ever serial killer and their actions. But yet when my mind shows me dead people with blood leaking from their head eyes and body i get scared. I can read and watch documentaries about killers for hours and days and never lose interest. My therapist says that normal how do i think Stephen King wrote all his books “he had a sick mind”. When she tells me to write about it create something from it report my images to a note book i can seem to detail it enough. I say normal this is not and me being scared of the visions is a voice i cant hear telling me something I don’t know.
Start a journal of your images and what you hear. Draw if you can. Maybe the therapist is trying to get you to use what you experience to make a book? From your scary experience, unless it keeps reminding you of your scary experiences that you don’t want to remember. I think the therapist want you to create a book. Who knows you might be able to produce one if you want to try. If not that’s okay too. What ever makes you feel comfortable. The therapist thinks with your knowledge of the serial killers that maybe you can write your own character from what you know of serial killers since you have extensive reading on the subject. To write a fiction novel is what the therapist is trying to convey. That’s what I decipher. I know it must be scary to relive the visual and auditory hallucinations and I’m sure you never quite completely forget them. I had that too but as time goes by they seem to go away slowly and soon enough it gets rare. Maybe you can produce a book . I don’t know but sure you can try. What ever you decide to do. We are here for you.