When I was little I had a huge fear of mirrors. I would sit standing in front of them, talking over and over watching my mouth move and becoming horrified at the fact that sound was coming out. I remember not feeling in control.
Another thing, which I find even more strange, is the fact that when I was younger, I was absolutely TERRIFIED of being the last one in my family to fall asleep. I would force everyone to stay awake until I fell asleep because I was so sure they would carry on into the next day without me.
As I got older I suffered from more and more depersonalization/derealization.
Tons of thoughts, putting them to coherent sentences is the hard part. Sounds a bit like your dying to start talking about what’s been going on with you from some of your other posts or in more detail;. . So I guess the question is what therapies have you tried? Or what’s stopping you from going to therapy?
I’m still terrified of mirrors. Sometimes I can’t sleep at night because I feel like if I don’t stare at the mirror my reflection will crawl out and kill me while my back is turned. I’ve never trusted mirrors.
I’ve only been to two therapists steadily. Met with a few others on one meeting basis.
The first steady therapist I saw said my hallucinations were a gift and I should try enhancing them more. Stopped seeing her after a while to be honest, she made me even more delusional. Don’t know what her deal was.
My second therapist, my current one, has suggest behavioral therapy. But I think I will just continue to see her instead.
Yes I am dying to express all of these thoughts. This forum has brought back a lot of memories, a lot that I have forgotten and I finally feel comfortable enough to share them all.
Personally, I’m kind of excited for my therapy appointment next week.
There was a time I hated catching a glimpse of myself. I didn’t feel or look like myself.
To walk through those rare occasions where two mirrors face each other and the reflection spans out forever… that use to really freak me out. I’d need help getting out of that.
Depersonalization/derealization is something I’ve been fighting too. It happens when I have a sudden jolt of panic or stress. I hate that disconnected feeling as I watch myself do stuff I’ll regret later.
A lot of my delusions as a young teen (11-17) centered around my kid sis and kidnappers.