I got 15/20 in my midterm today, and I feel terrible. It’s below average according to my professor but not in the low range, which is in the middle.
I’m hating myself so much and I’m really tempted to starve myself for lunch. My intrusive thoughts tell me I shouldn’t eat because of this failure.
Of course I’m going to work on improving my interpretation skills, but I believe failures shouldn’t be allowed. My professor said she would all buy us lunch but I am tempted to say no.
If I trash my grades, I wouldn’t be able to get a scholarship and my parents would be so disappointed.
oh how upsetting…my grades used to really get me down…please eat something…just a little…don’t starve yourself…you could become anorexic or something horrible…don’t mess with your intake of food.! failures? I had a 2.0 grade avg when I graduated…if you’re schizophrenic you are going to have a much harder time than with other normal students. don’t be hard on yourself…I am proud of you for going to college.
I have a 3.4/4.0 GPA right now, but that GPA dropped from 3.8/4.0 I had previously. I had a scholarship when I had a 3.8.
I’m retaking this course but I need to upgrade from a previous C+. I’m also not guaranteed a good mark in my other English to Korean interpretation course. My goal is to get it up to at least a 4.1 this end of the year.
I’m just trying to remember what a consequence of getting a low mark can have. I can’t self-harm because I vowed 5 years ago that I would never do it again. But since this can jepordize my entire semester I really need to work harder.
oh my that’s awful …i can’t imagine having that kind of temptation to hurt myself…scares me for you…please don’t…it’s been five years…forget you used to do it…don’t ever even think about it…don’t romance the feelings to hurt yourself…I’m not trained to help you think about this…so don’t listen to me really…I just care about you. hasn’t it been a while since you’ve posted here?
Nope, I posted a few days ago about an intrusive thought I had about neurotypicals. I’m never hurting myself- that I have kept away for 5 years now. I’m currently fighting a temptation to starve myself but I’m going to buy gimbap on the way out because feeding myself with terrible intrusive thoughts are bad.
I know people say this often, and I believe it too. But that’s not how the academic world works I guess. If you don’t have a high gpa, you’ll never get into graduate school or get a job. This is even more intensified if you’re living in a highly competitive society.
I was told this. I don’t have a degree, but several of the people I beat out for the last promotion did. I had a better work track record and I’m getting quite good at interviewing.
That’s awesome! I know a young farmer who makes thousands of dollars a month and he earns better than the rest of us with degrees.
But the Korean society really values degrees and high gpa and it’s been so hard to get a job these days. My friend got rejected from a job because they said she was from a low ranking university.
My wife took a swing at doing consulting on curriculum design a while back. They liked her so much they keep throwing more work at her. We just incorporated her company for doing this to help with taxes.
I graduated without a grade this summer just gone by. Ive got an interview lined up. Not a graduate job, but a i still got accepted into a masters, and since academia is my end goal, its worked out for me.
It sounds like you are describing an eating disorder. Punishing your body won’t make your grade improve
Fair enough if you don’t feel hungry but be kind to yourself. You will be able to study better when you are eating well.
Thanks! I just have this intrusive thought that the neurotypicals want us to torture ourselves and that’s why they put up negative media about us. I was doing this in part for their own good to satisfy their intentions of putting that media out there.
I just think that neurotypicals don’t want mistakes. At least most parents don’t. And when we make mistakes, neurotypicals say we learn from it but at school and at home, you are either whipped with a ruler or get lectured by your parents about how others are better than you. Saying “I didn’t raise my daughter to be like this and I didn’t waste money out of my pocket to send you to mental institutions”. Mistakes are a terrible thing to them, and if you make them you are doomed.
Mistakes won’t get you scholarships or get you in graduate school. Mistakes will get you fired from your job or get you poor grades. Mistakes will get you lectures from your mom.
I guess I’m just trying to not burden people by getting low grades and poorly performing in society.
Update: the menu has changed! We’re eating soup this time.
but I think I cannot eat anything more than that. I kind of lost appetite.
