I get annoyed every time I see my GPA at uni and realise I could’ve done better. I got sick in my second year at uni and ended up failing a lot, almost got kicked out. After I became more functional, I went back to uni but my concentration and memory weren’t the same, it was tough dealing with the anxiety and then the sedative meds. I know I shouldn’t blame my bad grades on one thing alone, maybe I should’ve tried better, but I also feel like the main reason I didn’t do well is because of this illness. It took a lot from me.
My grades suffered too. I have no idea how I managed to finish. I would have got a great grade if I had not have fallen ill in my second/last year.
I feel you
The first time I got sick, I was just starting high school. I was either at home or in the counselor’s office every day. Everyone had different ideas on what was wrong with me. I ended up on a medical leave of absence for the second half of the school year.
The second time I got suck, it was 2017. I was in my senior year of high school. Everything went to hell. My grades plummeted, I could no longer do work that used to be simple for me. The only reason I graduated is that my teachers were lenient about my work and generous about my grades. I honestly should not have graduated.
Anyway, my point in sharing this is that schizophrenia (or any mental illness, really) takes a lot out of us. Maybe your grades could’ve been better. I don’t know. However, you put in effort. You powered through your symptoms and were able to graduate, and that, my friend, is commendable.
I’m sorry you’ve had it so rough. I’m glad you got through it too. Thank you for this, it really touched me
I can understand your disappointment but you did your best, i’m sure. Like @Sardonic said, sz takes a lot out of you. I didn’t even go to college so you’re doing better than me. I say “good job”!
About ten years ago, I was 49 then, I wanted to major in math so, I took a course in algebra in a community college. I aced the homework and the in class work but my anxiety during quizzes was so astronomical that I only got “C” grades on the quizzes, and in order to pass, you had to get at least a “B”. I was getting “C’s” on all the quizzes and my son, at the time, needed the family car for work, so, I dropped out of the college.
Thank you so much!
I withdrew, technically, during the semester. I was told I could come back but I don’t think I’m smart enough anymore and I’m too low functioning.
I never failed a class, but I did get a couple Passes and a couple of Cs in my math classes. I was a math major. I wanted to go to graduate school for economics or for an MBA. This was 8 years ago.
It was very hard for me. I didn’t feel smart anymore. I guess I had the prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia: cognitive decline, OCD, anxiety, depression, etc.
I just needed 5 classes to graduate. I went from a 3.9 GPA to a 2.95 GPA.
I don’t think I could work so what’s the point in going to school? Even if I do work someday, it will probably be stocking shelves or something. I really want to be a programmer, but I need to study more. I have set backs every time I try to go back to college or volunteer.
My biggest setback is not being able to drive much. Every time I go on a new medication or get them adjusted, I go back 10 steps. It’s very frustrating.
My biggest problem is delusions and I feed into them. I feel like they are really real sometimes like in an alternative universe. I get visions or memories in my head and it’s very frustrating and traumatizing.
I just increased my dose of Vraylar to 6 mg and added cymbalta. Now I’m tired all the time. But it’s working. I didn’t need to go back to the hospital.
I honestly think if I went to an easier school and picked an easier major like business or even economics, I would have graduated. I think taking real analysis, number theory, and mathematical logic, while suffering from psychosis was too much. It’s hard no matter what. I think I overestimated my intelligence. I always thought hard work was more important. I don’t understand how Elyn Saks made it through college. She’s a true genius, I am not.
I was stressed about getting a job after college too. I felt like a real failure. I didn’t even apply to internships because I was so focused on passing my classes.
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