I have a strong feeling that I am not human. I was an entity that roamed around the nonphysical plane freely having fun, causing mischief and sometimes helping out. I never had any interest in entering the physical plane. I was occasionally chased by entities that wanted me for my power. But once I met up with one that was a very powerful and evil demon. And he took me to hell and kept me as a slave basically, forcing me to do terrible things and torturing me when I didn’t comply or even when I did if he was bored. I turned into a monster.
But God saved me from there. He rescued me and offered me his protection. In return I became his ally. He wanted me to help protect his children, the souls of the physical plane, from evil and help guide them. Basically hiring me as a mercenary of sorts in case the apocalypse happens. If the apocalypse were to happen his angels would mostly be taking care of fighting the demons but that means they need entities to manage the children during that time. So I’m on that list. There are others like me who just keep reincarnating here just in case the devil decides to strike. I am indebted to God for the rest of eternity for what he saved me from. I love him and he loves me and he’s taken me under his wing despite the evils I have committed. Anyways those are my beliefs at this time.
If you sneeze in the spaghetti sauce when making supper, and don’t tell your family, you’re human.
If you and your partner fight over which way the toilet roll should go, you’re human
If you pass gas in an elevator and blame it on the Bellhop, you’re human.
If your chair makes a ‘fart noise’ at the Library and you keep twerking your butt to try and repeat that sound so the guy next to you won’t think you really farted, you’re human.
If every night in your bedroom it’s ‘battle of the bedsheets’ with your partner, you’re human.
If you’ve gotten a chuckle out of any of these corny jokes, you’re human.
You post many of dare I say “crazy” threads, but I see you as one of the more well together people on the forum. If I recall, you’re in school? It’s surprising sometimes to hear some of the things you experience Anna. I admire you for being as functional as you are despite your experiences with sz.
I’m physically human. I have to take this form in order to be close to other humans as possible and sort of be a part of the world and understand it better.
I hate it though. Feels like a prison sometimes. But a debt is a debt.
It’s because I know others will just see my beliefs as delusional. So I don’t say anything. It’s simple for me to act normal.
I was diagnosed with psychotic depression but sometimes I really wonder if I’m psychotic at all. This place (the world) is quick to dismiss anything not related to the physical as “crazy”
Sounds like you’re trapped in a way of thinking. When I thought I was an alien and everyone else was a robot it was tough because the robots were programmed to be believable. My dad said “I can assure you I’m real” and I said “you’re just programmed to say that”…eventually I grew out of it somehow but it seems you’re stuck in a similar thought process.
Because your thinking is flawed. And as human beings we are all flawed. Thus, you are a human being.
A flaw, though doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. We all have areas in our life which we need to work on. So stop sitting in the caboose and start riding coach on this careening train we call life.
I’m more concerned that I’m depressed again. I was fighting suicidal urges last night and ended up calling my friend and scaring the heck out of her to where she told our other friend to hang out with me and keep an eye on me.
but just don’t think you’re so non human, or spiritual, that you can break any barrier of pain.
Have you ever cut yourself? Sorry, if that’s intrusive, and not trying to cause it.
I was cutting myself just now. I made a cool star. It’s not something I do regularly but if I’m going to kill myself eventually I need to be able to hurt myself.
But yes God is always with me. They were trying to stop me from doing it but I didn’t listen.
(I support your conclusion though!)
