You figure everything in the universe is cyclical. So if we had sz in this life, the next life should be a breeze. 
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I ain’t coming back.
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My problem is every cycle i wind up living the same life with schizophrenia. Same physics and same parents and biology…its like my billionth time with schizophrenia. Nothing changes. Not sure if i like these memories or not. Its not normal. At least i know i got a really rough end of the deal and a really bad bargain. I figure god thought i was an outlier or anomaly…sort of like im stuck in this life forever in a simulation with eternal schizophrenia. In fact i wake up repeatedly after 2011 the date of my schizophrenia.
Not sure but i lived through the end of the world many times. History rarely changes but does.
Im starting to think its a God thing now. Not just aliens. My life could be a million times worse. I died many times and came back alive.
Its time travel. Am i the terminator lol? Something like ender’s game? I get weird belief systems. I dont hate god but feel indifferent sometimes especially towards jesus. Maybe hes just an alien creation or clone…im not a jesus fan right now…something aint right. Nobody deserves this.
I feel like i lived over a trillion past lives. Some a lot more tragic and worse than this. Stuff i should keep to myself.
@anon28145038 , there’s something a bit stubborn about you and I. Are we refusing to be happy?
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