Maybe I've been going about it all wrong

For weeks now, I’ve been really insecure. I’ve been keeping away from socializing with friends because I’ve felt like I just annoy them or I’m a burden, and that I’m doing them a favour by keeping away.
I’ve even kept myself from messaging some of them as I’ve been sure I’m causing them more harm than good.

I just realised something. I’ve been going about it all wrong.
They’re my friends, which means they must care about me. Maybe they want to see me, maybe they even miss me.
Could I have been hurting them by keeping a distance?
And is it too late to make amends for that?

I really wish I could change the way I think about myself.
It doesn’t feel good, constantly thinking I’m a burden.

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You have a great personality @Pikasaur. I could listen to you all day long.

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Thank you :slight_smile:

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I think you’re pretty cool. I would imagine your friends think the same thing. I also understand the need to isolate and the feeling that I am a burden to other people and am doing them a favor by staying away. I think this is a faulty kind of thinking though. I am sure that your friends miss you when you’re not around and would like to see you and hear from you more. If you don’t feel like seeing anyone then don’t force yourself to do too much. But it might be worthwhile to make a little effort to gradually be around them a little more. Your friends are an important part of your life and you would do well to experience the support they have to offer.

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It doesn’t pay to be a perfectionist regarding social affairs. When I find it difficult to be around others… I mean it sucks for a while, but when I really look at the experience… it’s me that is disappointed by them.

I’m not saying that applies to you, but it may. Most folks are just bull-****-ing around… or really just preferring to keep things simple. It’s inherently limited in which directions the conversations can flow. It annoys… it feels like rejection, but they don’t really mean it that way… what I’m left with is my own dissapointment.

I do know of some real folks… I don’t see many of them often, but in having met them I have gained a sense of trusting my kind of folk are out there. Likely feel the same way I do, most of the time.

It’s not direct company but hey it takes the edge off.

Absolutes are almost never the truth. You’re not a total burden… it’s likely you just don’t have the right kind of folks around.

Take care… be active… find things you’re passionate about doing… it’s about the only route to finding people who genuinely feel the same passions and those always yield a stronger bond.

Your friends wouldn’t be your friends if they thought you were a burden. Yes, they probably do miss you.

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