I’ve made the decision to cut off my two best friends emotionally. There have been a lot of things going on in the past few months and many of the things they have done have had an extremely negative impact on me. I’ve decided that if they want we can still be friends, but at a distance. I will not talk to them about emotions nor will I be close to them like I was before. If we want to talk about random stuff like the show we just watched that’s fine, but anything deeper is forbidden.
I know that I should do this for me and that I’m doing it for my mental health but it still hurts like hell. Low self esteem doesn’t help as the negative side of me is constantly telling me that I’m just giving up and that I’m weak and I should keep trying. So I have to remind myself that I’m not just giving up. I’ve tried fixing things over the past few months and things just kept getting worse.
Also struggling cause I’m having past memories and emotions coming up and tangling themselves with my already overwhelming present emotions. It’s just that the present situation feels really similar to some past ones and it scares me then bad memories like to pop up and replay themselves. It’s been a really emotional couple of days and an emotional few months.
I’ve had to do that before. It hurts deeply. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You may find that when you make new friends you’re a stronger person and able to have healthier relationships. My relationships are now healthier so I’m made better choices after having gone through that. Maybe yours will be too
I think your doing it for the right reasons and in your best interest. Yeah it’ll hurt but sounds like it’s for your benefit and that outweighs the negatives.
@LilyoftheValley I hope they will be too. It will be a bit before I can make new friends though. Stuff like this tends to affect me deeply and then I’m scared that the next friend I make will only end up like this. I’ll make it through this and I’ll make it through that fear too until I’m surrounded by only good friends.
@rogueone Yes it is for my benefit, I cant keep things the way they were. I was developing old habits and thought processes. Thinking that I’m not good enough for anybody, and that I dont deserve happiness. It scares me that those habits were coming back, but it also helps me make sure to stick to my decision because I’m not letting years of hard work go down the drain because of two people.