Today saw mice in field thru binoculars whilst birdwatching. Pretty little things with stripes on their back. But I wanna kill them, buy traps and drown them. (Haha!)
Why? What’s wrong with me? Am I a psychopath? What do these urges mean?
That’s evil. Nothing wrong if predators kill the mice, but a human torturing them is sick.
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I feel so bad about these urges. It’s not me I think it’s the evil spirit trying to influence me. It’s awful!
That’s kinda messed up. Even hunters that have killed 100s of animals wouldn’t torture an animal and always try to dispatch them humanely. I dont know if I’d exactly say you are a psychopath but maybe you are indulging in this thought because you know it is bad and are feeding into the dark side. Whether its subconscious or not you need to have the control to not view intrusive thoughts as definite urges
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I have a neighbour who catches them and pours water over them so they burn. He’s really evil please don’t do it.
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For the record I dont think you’re a psychopath but when I was unwell I felt detached from people and things. Does this sound familiar. ?
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Yes I feel like I’m not real I’m fake. And that the world around is all foggy
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Yeah I struggled to feel anything for anyone when I was feeling unwell. I’m sorry I hope you feel better.
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Thank you @anon25873142 151515
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I don’t think that you are a psychopath @Hadeda
As a matter of fact I know you are not because sounds like you are remorseful for having these thoughts.
I’m pretty sure that what you are experiencing are intrusive thoughts.
Intrusive thoughts are often violent or dark in nature.
But it would be nice to talk with a therapist you feel comfortable with about it.
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This is concerning. I encourage to speak with your pdoc about these urges.
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I wish my next appt wasn’t so long to wait - only 12 oct.
It’s always like this - if my pdoc is away writing exams or studying or holidaying then that’s when I get ill and need them the most. It sucks.
I’ll see if I’m ok to wait a bit otherwise of I can’t I’ll phone outpatients and see another pdoc
@Hadeda did you have thoughts entering your mind about torturing the mice?
Or did you have actual urges to harm these animals?
There’s a difference.
If you had the urge to torture innocent animals and find it amusing then this is concerning.
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You’re a good person caught in a bad situation, that’s all. You’re dealing with a tough illness and we all have crap days with it. This does NOT indicate any sort of moral failing on your part. Please don’t beat yourself up over it.
Leaving the box of (((hugs))) open for you - help yourself. 
(You owe me some ankle later.)
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Maybe its just intrusive thoughts. I used to get them alot on abilfy dont let those thoughts win though what ever you do
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@Wave it was intrusive urges from Alien
Sounds like a psychopath vibe
Personally I don’t think that makes you a psychopath
I stomped on a pigeon one time with a huge grin on my face
It’s from frustration in life, a little ‘snap’ or just losing yer cool for a moment
Don’t worry about it 
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Alien isn’t real. It’s a voice and tbh, it sounds like something you are using to escape responsibility for your behvior and urges.
Alien isn’t responsible for these urgea, your brain is. It is misfiring. You need to accept this before you can move forward and begin healing.
Maybe you’re just a rodent-o-path and you don’t like mice.
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