I have been thinking about something I did in my past in childhood and teens - I was cruel to small animals like mice and fish. I killed a mouse my cat caught and abused my goldfish once
Fast forward to the present and I have these weird urges when I see certain animals that I want to kill them if I get hold of them. Mice, rats, squirrels - small furry things.
Only exception is birds - I never think sadistic thoughts about killing them.
I think small furry things are so cute and adorable but at same time I have this strong urge to kill them…
Why is that? Is it part of my mental illness or have I just got a cruel streak in me? I’m so ashamed of myself. I’m not normally a cruel person.