Making progress

Health and Recovery
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Finally figuring out how to live again. How to operate with the feeling that I’m being watched and all that can do to you. It’s all about focus. Gotta let go of the internal and look to the outside world and the future. Music, talking, games, whatever. Pretend you never had the illness and ignore it.

I can hear the voices, like a tiny sliver of what they typically are. Pretty easy to tune out and ignore.

Really wish science had an explanation and a means of stopping them. These critical psychological entities are watching me and criticize me just as much when I’m doing things right as when I’m doing things wrong. Trying to drag me down into a self image or identity that doesn’t fit. A product of fear.

I’m really happy that I don’t have anxiety like I used to. I’m not depressed. Don’t crave illegal drugs or alcohol. Growing less psychotic. If my symptoms would go away I would be in an almost trancelike state of peace, but no still some chaos to live down.

Here’s to hoping I can hold onto this state. I really like the feeling of making progress with this illness, it’s a unique experience that we are privileged to.

If I never got sick i wouldn’t have gotten around to making these fundamental changes to myself.

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Nice,mind sharing what help you to turn things around?:slight_smile:

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Occasional moments of clarity and being symptom free. I try to capture what that’s like and hold onto to it.

Also writing on here and talking to the universe about my problems, either mentally or out loud. I watched this whole mess go down.

It also kind of feels good to hear voices but not be listening to them. Takes a while to get them out of your face and into the background.

On the more realistic side of things, realizing I have people in my life who care about me and want the best for me.

I’m in a good mood right now it’s kind of easy to appreciate it in a positive light.

Still got some quirks in the programming though. It’ll take a lot of time to undo what I’ve gone through on a psychological level. Can’t feel guilty about intrusive thoughts, if you do it lessens the chance of them going away. That’s a new thing I’ve recently implemented.

Really I’ve got an easy life at this point, it’s not really going anywhere and I’m not really prepared for the future, but I have time to sort all this out.

I’ve gotten used to being bored and alone. It’s wrong to expect things from people. Or it’ll leave you unsatisfied.

Just gotta do what you can to keep the thoughts flowing.

I think I know who I want to be now and how to become that person. I’ve got psychosis in the way, but really I already am that person, just plagued by an inner battle of not actualizing it.

This is more just my own approach and I don’t recommend it for everyone, but it’s important to accept that there are some things your not good at. Also things you are good at. I find it really stressful to try and be somebody I’m not in social situations. I’m not a jokester or a ■■■■ talker. Accepting that has brought me peace.

Focus on what your capable on, and if you want you can always build from there.

I’ve also quit drinking alcohol, that’s just a waste of time.

But yeah lots of subtle thing going well for me. Still delusional as hell thinking my symptoms are real and they are watching me. I don’t think that feeling/belief will go away until the symptoms go away. And I don’t think that will happen until I find peace with myself and solidarity. Which I think I’m on my way to.

The concept of telepathy has changed everything for me. I never really cared about what I was thinking or feeling before. Now It’s important for me to adapt to this perspective, it’s an inescapable challenge for me, have to conquer it.

Good luck out there man.

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@BryanAshley

I am really happy for you…

You sound like me a year ago… just getting out of the forest of confusion into the clearing to solid thinking…

And of course trying to make sense of what just happened and trying to sort of let it all settle and heal.

You sound like your doing great… not letting quirks in the programming derail the progress… knowing that people ARE on your side and will help if you ask…

realizing that you have more time to heal and get stronger.

I’m really happy to hear how well your doing and how hard your working…
Congratulations on all this.

here’s hoping that every day is better then the day before.

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I feel like I’m on the cusp of finding interest in things again. I have always been an obsessive person. It was pretty healthy for me back when I was studying physics and comp sci. Since the first time I heard a voice or telepathic message that obsessive nature has turned on me. Driving me into the thralls of psychotic delusion. I’ve sort of broken this obsessive nature and I feel pretty good about it. But I think having something for the mind to turn to during down moments is a good thing. Don’t really know what it is yet but I feel I have the capacity to think again.

That’s my ultimate issue right now, I’m coming out of psychosis, but I don’t really know what to do with myself.

I’ll figure it out though.

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