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Lonely as hell all the time

I do not understand it. I have my family and they are helpful and loving, yet I still feel alone, all the time. I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember. I do not get along with people my own age, perhaps that’s the reason. Perhaps it’s because I’ve never had a girlfriend. No, it’s something deeper, haunting me wherever I go. Is it because I can’t talk to anybody about what’s happening to me? I’m never alone, but always lonely. I sometime’s wonder if I will ever reach a point when I do not feel this way, but I don’t think I will. The last time I felt this bad I took a twelve mile walk following my mother after loosing a week of sleep few years ago. The depression went away, but it’s back. More powerful than before. I don’t know if I can keep this up. I’ve considered solutions, but i do not want to take them. I need help, advice, something to keep me going a bit longer. I would do anything to rid of this feeling. I don’t know what to do, I feel like my life is about to fall apart, I’m gonna burst, tear myself apart. Every night I lie awake thinking of everything I want to be, knowing that I can’t be somebody people sympathize with, because my feelings have no basis and nobody can understand them if even I cannot. I constantly see everybody getting father and farther away, and I know that I am doomed to one day live alone, in some apartment somewhere feeling miserable. I think my family is becoming aware that something is wrong, but they’re the last people whom I want to know about what I am. My sister always gives me that concerned look now. She’s too young to be forced to help me, and I shouldn’t be turning to her for help, but I fear the rest of my family would not believe me. They would think I’m acting this way to get the support m father has, like social security. but I refuse to ever turn to that, I want to make my own money, but my family would not believe that either. Maybe they know but they’re in denial. Somebody has to have noticed by now, despite all my effort to hide. But why would they be asking me to work myself to death then. I’m fine with working but it’s become to much and managing it with my school work has become literally impossible. I’ve gotten considerably of track. Is there anything I can do to help the loneliness I’m feeling?

This kind of loneliness can be caused by depression. Depression itself can be very disabling.

Have you tried antidepressants and/or therapy?

I think connecting with other people in the same condition would help you feel less lonely and isolated. A support group would be a great place to start.

This forum is also very helpful. So try to join in and interact as much as possible.

I know it’s helped me tremendously!

Blessings,

Anthony

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No, you’re not the only one. Most of my life I felt alone. Didn’t fit in in school. Didn’t fit in at work either. After becoming ill, I felt like I had nobody to talk to who understood the things I’ve been through. I even felt alienated from family. I felt like I didn’t belong on this planet most of my life, until I met some friends at a mental-health clubhouse. But for years, I still felt like I couldn’t or didn’t want to talk about my own issues due to shame and confusion over where I fit in. I feel better about that stuff now.

Coming on here is a good step, you may see others post things that you identify with. It’s hard to feel like you’re just watching life going by, as I did most of my life. Also, I understand frustration that you can not necessarily be what you want to be. I was peeved that I couldn’t be what I used to be, nor what I wanted to become, but I’m making progress in some areas. I’m trying to redefine myself. It’s easier said than done.

You can start with one step, such as finding out if you can get into a clubhouse, or take up a hobby. Again, easier said than done, because sometimes one feels that one just can’t do anything or isn’t truly interested in much of anything.

Searching for a feeling that is not there. Your still lonely and people don’t fill the gap. Possibly a condition medicine could help with. We come into this world solo for the most part. We care about certain people. They care about us. But we still feel lonely. I don’t know. Sounds like depression. Look up.