I have two lovable kids and a loving husband. I have a good job that I love and side interests I cultivate. I managed somehow to put my life together, one might say. But still.
I am so friggin lonely.
I have cut ties with my narcissistic mother, now her youngest, which I raised up to school age, doesn’t talk to me either. I have no friends, just distant people on fb and such that I can’t reach out to. I miss having friends. I guess that’s adulthood, but it’s getting a bit painful to not have who to call, see or talk to at any point. My husband is the only adult I talk to, and he is ASD, therefore all I hear from him most of the time are random facts and technicalities.
I am tired. I sometimes feel that it will never end and I will never have a social life again, and it’s so painful that I consider ending my life. Obviously, I look at my kids and get over it, but the thought is there, had to call Lifeline again after a long while that I didn’t need their help anymore.
I am alone too most of the time but I rarely feel lonely. I’ve come to really enjoy my ‘loneliness’ .
Doing things I love, at my own pace, without the judgement or imprudence of ‘people’.
You can also come here and make friends, the forum is full of people with similar struggles who are very understanding.
If you want to make friends, participate in some community activities, do some volunteering with the mentally ill or pets if you like them. Go out more.
In time, you’ll get over this phase. People or ‘normies’ as we call them, get really annoying btw. I’ve been trying to socialize like a normal person and already made a few ‘enemies’.
I’d say enjoy your life. Like you said, you have a lovely family of your own. Cherish those moments.
I try to be social, but I get so scared and the stupid voices mess with me all the time about not trusting people. It seems only safe to not really have friends. It’s messed up, but if I add someone on Facebook I end up unfriending them because I get paranoid. Everyone in my congregation that i have found on Facebook I blocked because I know they are trying to spy on me. I only have my kids and husband on my list. I don’t use my name anymore in case people from my past are looking for me too. I don’t fill out the profile info either. I blocked my siblings and my dad too. It sucks. I trust very few people. I just can’t handle it. I would add people then unfriend them add again and unfriend… finally I just blocked everyone I know basically. Deleted my pictures, and replaced with a sandwich picture. The other day I was looking for a burner phone to replace my smart phone. Tired of being scared all the time. I really trust nobody, I guess. I keep taking my meds, even though Their not helping much. I don’t really feel lonely though. But I’m too scared to have close friends… I have people who love and care about me seemingly. I just think they’re spies? Hate it.
Msg me, I would love to chat as I am not busy most of the day and would love to just chat and get to know u
Reconnect with mother, this might be hard or maybe even impossible but there are very few things that can replace a mother…
What about your father or other syblings?
Childhood friends… I find that reconnecting with people from your childhood like middle school or elementary can work sometimes as some people like being connected to their roots and past…
Therapy or group therapy?
Maybe something like dance classes or art classes? I feel like dance classes are a good way to get to know people through your body and through expression… It seems like some boundaries fade away this way so u can actually “connect”…
@anon33673328, I too am alone like 95% of the time and I don’t mind it at all. As a matter of fact, I prefer it. I live alone, with my trusty and adoring cat. I have plenty of hobbies and interests to keep me very busy when I am alone and I volunteer every week and attend a volunteer meeting once a week too. That gets me out and about a bit. I spend a lot of time on sz.com and I enjoy it very much. I consider all of you guys as my friends. I’m very happy.
