So I’ve been forcing myself to talk to my bf more. Its painful and uncomfortable, I feel stupid for the things I tell him. He brought up the subject of kids !?! Totally surprised me. He said he’s been thinking about it a lot lately and been wanting to ask what kind of mother I wanted to be. So I broke down and told him all my fears about having kids with this illness. It was kind of a relief to get that weight off my shoulders because I’ve been carrying it around for months now getting really depressed about it. His rebuttal was “so what.” So what if you have to come off your meds for a few months to have the baby and breastfeed, it won’t be the end of the world. So what if you need to go in the hospital again, you’ll get past that and come out better. I was glad he said it, but its easy for him to say that he’s not the one going through it, changes in body, hormones plus mood and possible psychosis might take years to recover from. Then I worry about attaching to the baby, what if I can’t connect with it and reject it. It would be awful if it went through life with a mother who couldn’t connect with it. My own mother neglected me from infancy and look how I turned out, all messed up. I don’t know, I feel really sad.
The little bundle of joy at the end is worth it. So those that have been through the same thing say. I’ve been asking around. I’m male but have similar fears. Who knows you might mother the child that goes on to cure all mental illnesses. But try not to focus on the what ifs… Focus on what you think will make you happy.
I decided not to have kids, but I’m a guy.
@skims,hello you sound not too bad,as you can still maintain a relationship.I am glad you share your thoughts with your BF and not keep it inside with yourself.I read some of your post and I hope your schizophrenia won’t be forever till you die,but your come out of it someday
i’ve talked with my partner about having kids and we decided i won’t be the one having kids. Too many chances of illnesses the baby could get that and i’m afraid to go without the medicine or what my meds could do to another life.
In my case, I’m starting to think that my sza was actually just psychosis and depression triggered by c-ptsd and not sz at all. So if I can tackle the c-ptsd and get that under control maybe I have a shot at a normal life. But then the stress of pregnancy, post-partum blues could trigger psychosis again. But if I have a lot of support I may not have to go into the hospital.
Very possible,I hate that SZ is a permanent illness,it’s very hopeless
More story of recovery from depression,Anxiety,SZ is like when you dig a tunnel and it comes to a dead end where you can’t continue to dig a way out,while it is too far to go back to the start of the tunnel lol
You do what you want, but i’d never chose to have a kid if i’d knew for my ex’s genetics predisposition. Too many orphans out there, i would provide a love and carrying for one of them. And i’d avoid a horrible 9 months of pregnancy.
You’re the one who will carry a baby. Your body your decision.
I understand your worries Skims, but belive me once you see your daughter or son your heart melts. This is unconditional love!
I have a 7 months old daughter and i love her to death.
I had my kids before I got ill. I now have help from social services to manage my kids. They keep an eye on me all the time.
Whoa wait up.
I’m a young man with bright friends and I’m bright too. We all have promising futures. We are all probably going to end up in some sort of relationship that is serious, some of us already have, I haven’t been in a terribly serious relationship yet, just brief ones.
Most of my friends admit to wanting to use women as vessels for sons.
Just think of that little fact as you also think about how your boyfriend doesn’t care about the possible consequences of 1. Having kids with you, this is a heritable brain disease. 2. You going off your meds for what like over a year?!
Men are pigs when you’re not looking at them carefully.
Seriously.
Men might be strong and crap but they’re also hormone driven to the extent that if females thought the way men do, nothing would ever get accomplished and humanity would fall…because we would all be having sex or eating or sleeping 24/7.
I’m serious. I even catch myself dreaming of having a son, I am the last in my family, but I have no intention of damaging the gene pool with a possibly schizophrenic kid.
I am so sorry your BF is being so selfish on this issue… to want a kid and not care about your health… or concerns… I hope you can get through to him.
I bet this entire situation is making you sad.
Your the one doing all the work… taking all the risk… I know… you know… it’s your decision 100%, but I hope a little reaffirmation will help keep you strong.
Maybe a councilor or therapist can help you find a way to get through to your BF.
Good luck and 
hugs… It makes me sad when people take others they say they love for granted.