Currently I do not. It is based on my illness. For one, I am scared having children will be badly triggering to me because I will not be able to have proper sleep and not be able to have my routines and be able to put my care first.
Secondly when my illness is triggered not only do I go through hell, but I know I cope by isolating myself because I just can’t tolerate with external stressors at that point. I have witnessed how I withdraw from my little siblings and reject them and act coldly to them when I’m not doing well and I loathe the idea of acting that way to my own child, and having them have to deal with a parent who is alternating warm and loving and icy and reclusive.
Finally, based on my reaction to our dog we got recently when she was a puppy I would say I’m at extreme risk for postpartum depression because I basically experienced a version of that with her. I had no bond for her, resented her, she caused me constant anxiety and I was in a constant state of depression until like a month of having her when she was decently trained and more independent. I mean I made it through it with her and I adore her now so I believe I could also make it through with a baby, but it takes a baby much longer to be more independent than it does a puppy. I just dread having to go through that process again and never really want a puppy again either.
Those are my reasons.
summary: I don’t want kids because a) I know kids will trigger my illness b) I respond to my symptoms by becoming very icy to and withdrawn from others and would hate to put my children through me being warm and loving one minute and cold and absent the next and c) when we got our puppy (who I wanted very much) I got a mini version of postpartum (postpuppy?) depression where I had no attachment to her and was even resentful of her, she caused me constant anxiety and I was thrown into a depressive episode for ages until she was older and this makes me suspect I’d have the same response to a baby
im not sure. didn’t think about having kids in my 20’s. for awhile about 30 I started thinking about it. i’ll only have 1 if I have any. im not really concerned about sz, well I guess I am a little bit, but mostly my age 34, I might be dead by the time their 30, and money. if I was wealthier I would at least have one child and do the best I could.
I didn’t want kids because I had nothing to go on. My mother didn’t want a baby, ignored me until she could train me to do chores and use me. My heart was never big enough to overcome all of that.
I always wanted a daughter but I’d have to be with a very stable person and I’d have to be very stable myself. I’d have to keep on with my recovery and show a lot of discipline. There’s a good chance it won’t ever happen, I can’t imagine being that responsible. It was something I planned on when I was a kid though.
I think that’s my only scenario in which I could have a kid. My partner would have to understand the situation and that they would need to take over often and play a big part. It couldn’t be like how my dad was with my mom where he just dumped everything baby on her and had nothing to do with it.
being a mother has always been a priority of mine for my life. it’s very important to me, I wouldn’t have any until I’m stable financially and my illness has calmed down some more, but having children is a necessity for me, I won’t feel fulfilled in life without raising a child of my own. preferable I’ll be able to have two kids, an older boy and a younger girl, but if I don’t get to have both genders, I’ll keep trying until the fourth kid then stop with 4 sons or 4 daughters. I don’t think I could handle any more than that, and even then I think it’ll push me to the edge of my sanity lol
No. I’m too old at this point almost 43. Those little people would have to come first and I have to look after myself. That’s too difficult for me. I dont have a man anyways. Dont know if or when I will have one again.
My grandmother wanted a boy, got three girls and stopped at three. My mother wanted a girl, got three boys and stopped at three. Odds aren’t in my favor lol.
I don’t want children and I have five of them. Can I shove them all back in or is it too late? I’m kidding. At first you think that you can’t handle them, but then one comes along and you learn to manage just fine. You adjust over time. It is hard at first, I’m not going to lie. And having a mental illness gives life added challenges, but having little people in your life that have your DNA and grow up as their own beings is really cool. I love my kids. Don’t be afraid to have kids even if you have a mental illness. You can manage both. You just learn to take care of yourself so you can take care of them.
Sad to say. But no. I don’t want kids in my life
I can’t cope if they have any serious condition.
I don’t want stress of worrying about the kid when they’re with the dad, what if me and the dad are seperated. Wondering how the dad is treating the kid.
It’s all too much for me.
What if I’m seriously depressed at that time. Wen I have to bring up the kid.
There were times when my niece and nephews were visiting and I was thinking I wanted children, but now I am sixty years old, and it is probably too late. I don’t have the economic wherewithal to support children. Alcoholism and schizophrenia kept me from acquiring the means to support children.
I seem to have a lot of sz on my mom’s side of the family. Too risky. Life is better for me now mostly, but I would never want to put anyone through how I felt. There are still many times I question if I should have been born and I don’t know how my story will end. I love our nephews and nieces and they are great and have grown up to be great parents.
I do want children at some point in my life. I am 30 now as well so I am kind of thinking that I need to do it some time soon. You only get one life so you should go out and live it the best you can. I think life would be a lot less fulfilling if I do not have children.
@GoldenRex, I read your story before and still admire your decision.
I had a child, his father isnt around and my son lives with my parents. We do spend regular time together, i see him perhaps 4 days a week, though sometimes only for lunch. I am very grateful i have my son, though there is always this bit of sadness about not raising him.
If my situation was normal - husband, stability - id love to have one or two more kids. In this case it would be bad though. For the kid, for me, for my son, for my family. My son always tells me i shouldnt have more babies and just to be sure, he doesnt want me to get married either “cause then, who knows, there might be another baby”.
